The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
well i am entering the 60th year of my life and its still helli made an honest mistake at work, (told the truth to a guy, when the salesmen was not so honest---long story) but anyway, i am facing job loss.....the beat goes on for me....one thing after anohter
BUT_________i have learned with this program to "take it better" i can "detach" from the sorry assed things that keep happening to me......i have a better relationship with me , for sure, with higher power??? well , right now, in the face of this "latest blessing" the jury is out...i have always felt that God does NOT interfer in our lives, but we have a part of the "source" inside of us......
i am now looking deep within for my "god within" to help me stay level, as i try to prepare for almost certain job loss at age 60 almost.....i have been on line, looking at possible programs for folks 55 plus, not much, but whatever i can do to take care of me i ammy boss told me today if we lost this job, that i blurted out the truth on, we are closing our doors......
i'll take a month of rest and brushing up on my ms excel/ word and rest and than "start over again"...i think my karma is gonna be hard till i die, but at least i can detach and take better care of meactually i am very surprised at myself, i am not beating me up over this honest but costly mistake.....it happened....i owned it....i attempted to make amends to the salesman i screwed up.......and than i forgave myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and trying to do the best i could........
i coulld sit and piss and moan about my sorry luck, but whats the point???? it is a total waste of energy......what am i gonna do???? i am going to look into deals i can work with my cable company...the internet.....whatever i can do to help me......i bought some unemployment insurance, which will, for 3 months, give me $500 xtra per month......
whatever i can do to help me....i also bought insurance on my mortgage so if the crap really htis the fan, i can activate my policy and get my mortgage paid for a year....thats it though, its a one time up to 12 months deal, but its there..and if i need it i can activate it.....now i have done all i can do to help me......
whatever is going to happen is going to happen, i am powerlessi went to a face to face AA meet cuz i was tempted to go out and get drunk....went to a meet instead and got some hugs......there are times when i just can't deal with life and the temptation to get plastered really was strong.....i figured a meet would serve me better.....it did take my mind of my latest "heaven sent blessing"so i guess, this weekend i am going to detach from my troubles that keep happening and try to indulge in me.....
first on my list is a hot bath.....than a big thing of popcorn and some good dvd's..........and maybe a bucket of onion rings to go with my popcorn.......today i can pay my bills......if we close our doors, iam going to feel bad.....this is the neatest little job i ever had, with the greatest boss....i wanted to work there till i dropped, and it looks like it isn't going to happen....i would be lying if i said i wasn't pissed of at God , life, circumstances, and i am going to allow my feelings.....
wheni am done with the feelngs, i am gonna get on the phone and get some comfort, and maybe another meet over the weekend.......i am getting REAL tired of bouncing back from the punches......i mean how MANY times can one small human being bounce back??????i feel not just sad for me, but for the other employess that got impacted by this....
the company has been in trouble for a while....and we DESPERATELY needed this job that i $%$%ed up.........i know my one single goof did not do the "coup de gras" but like i think it is the last straw for my bosss.........she said, she's hanging it up if this goes down......sorry to ramble....just needed to get some feelings out.......i am angry......i am tired of life hammering me.......i am going to take a warm bath and do SOMETHING to please me.....thanks for listening......rosie
-- Edited by rosie light shines at 22:26, 2006-04-21
-- Edited by rosie light shines at 22:31, 2006-04-21
I'm sorry things got so messed up, but I'm glad your not beating yourself up over it.
I hope it all works out for you and your boss. It sounds like you have all the pieces in place to take care of you in case things don't go the way you want them to.
Whenever I feel like I have to bounce back from too many hits, I think of those blow up clowns with the red nose that they had when I was little. You punch them, they fall over then pop right back up. For some dopey reason it makes me smile and I kind of like thinking that no matter what I can always pop back up like the clown.
I will keep praying that all works out well for you. Take some me time and relax this weekend.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Hopefully it will turn out better than you think. So many times I work myself up about something bad that I think is going to happen only to find that it never occurs. I am glad that you have thought ahead to take care of yourself -- Good Planning! I cannot believe that Jeannie mentioned the boxing clown, it is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading your post. There is one other thing about that pop up clown. No matter how often you hit him, when he popped back up, he always had a smile on his face!
Hi Rosie, I'm sorry for your troubles. If the job loss is real, I'm sorry about that too. Otherwise, try not to project too much?
You are prepared in all ways for whatever comes. Good job on that!
Someone said when God closes one door he opens another, but it's hell in the hallway. I like that you doing fun things for yourself this weekend.
I haven't been there but I wonder if you could try aarp website for ideas? Did you know you aren't alone in seeking a different job at 60? It's hard, but not impossible I think.
Go seniors! It took alot of courage to own the problem. It sounds like you had a plan and have been financially responsible. Maybe your new job is taking care of yourself. You sound really healthy and introspective and not on the pitty potty like I do. I am 56 years old and I just know that the world needs our wisdom and skills. The best to you.
(((((((((((Rosie))))))))) I know it's hard to think this way, but you are right where you are supposed to be when your there. Your HP has great plans for you, remember that. I am finding it hard with all that's going on with me to remember it......I am trying to read lots, stay focused on me....seems when a crisis arises with Mom's health or my A's drinking, my daughter in-law's CF, my son being in Iraq, it is hard to take care of me.....there is something great waiting around the corner for you!!!! Believe!!!!! And remember, to be gentle with yourself!!! Hugs Mary
Rosie, perhaps all of this speculation will not come to pass, but if it does, it sounds to me like you have your little ducks in a row. Your direction seems sound, and you are positive. GREAT!!! I hope it all works out happily, and my prayers are with you. Enjoy that hot bath and try not to worry.
With caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I'm sorry that this situation is hitting you but I do have to thank you for sharing how you are handling it. Applying all your programs to this is very inspirational. Come here and vent anytime and keep doing things for yourself and working it.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
((((Rosie)))) I'm so glad you came here and vented ... and hats off to you re acceptance and ownershipof your part, and then having the courage and forethought to change the things you could to take care of yourself. I know all the stuff re the harder job market as we age ... most of those relate to only certain kinds of jobs where one works in a bureaucracy for someone else. Don't let that mental "culture" cloud your thinking and what you want to do. At a low point for me someone shared, that .... sometimes circumstances force us into situations that we should have chosen for ourselves. I can only tell you that it turnedout to be so for me. Step 3 really and truly worked for me at that time. Take care.
