The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
also went to goodwill and just had FUN__Got some really cute designer overrall shorts...plus 4 other pairs....and some fun body sprays and just a few goodies....it felt good, but I NEED to conserve as I don't know how long this virus is going to last, impeding my work, getting new customers
Roommate paid her rent early so I treated us on some take out Chinese ...it was good
Mr. kitty is walking on his leash almost as well as a dog
I'm learning to make the best of where I am at now...no gym, no church which really sucks, so I get connected with my HP daily on my own....bible study on zoom Sat. night, as to the gym, I don't think I'll use equipment that might not be clean...i can ride my bike, use my own gym equip, but I miss the POOL....THAT is hrd....
so I make the best out of what is now....lovely pets, good neighbors....eating well, thanks to Kroger's "sell by meats" in the discount bin....
there is fun if I am open to it and I am....sometimes the simplest things can be as fun as blowing money, tho I did have fun at goodwill...I shop in kids dept....those shorts cost me way less...got a little teeny toaster oven for roommate and me to have grill cheese sandwiches...
I have a "Gloom and doom" albeit lovely neighbor across the street...a dear friend, but omg...I have to tell him I don't want to hear all the scary stuff, over which I am powerless.....I told him program is my peace..my ballast....I have step 3 and my HP....so I set limits on how much "gloom and doom" I can handle....
I am taking care of me...doing the next right thing...had to take roommate to her bank and it was 10 miles almost away....her car is STILL in the shop...I can't believe how long this "shop" has had her car...I told her today, i want my freedom from having to "tote her around all the time OR pick up stuff for her when i go to grocery" she even wanted me , one time, back, to make a special trip to get groceries for her and i said "NO" it is too much , having to tote her so much....I told her today, that I wanted LESS work having her here, NOT more...she is to get her car out...start helping more in the house, I am not gonna have more work...yea, she is disabled (back injury) and I get it, but I told her she can do light dusting and some vacuuming......I set it down today that as weather and yard gets more demanding of maintenance, she MUST help more....Non negotiable....She seemed to be in agreement...also I told her she is to turn out lights when she leaves a room...turn her fan off when she leaves her bedroom....simple rules, conserving AS I AM doing the same....I don't ask of her what I won't do myself....
I've learned that I can set boundaries and limits and protocols and not be mean about it.....
Self care is a big hard one for me
The house I went into with the soon to be roommmate was very different from what I have known in the past. I have lived with him on numeeous occasions.
I went to stay there when I was in the middle of my own COVID problem. i was also reeling from a disaster with some movers. That disaster is something I am still dealing wuth. Hence my complicated move.
To say I was at a low ebb was one big understatenent
Then I lost most of my jobs because of COVID. . Then I had to go out and get another job. Then that job required a lot of over time. I did not get much time to set or even think.about boundaries. I was reelimg from one crisis to the next
In the.meantime my roommate worjed maybe one ir two hours a day at most.
He never once offered anything. When I started using a freezer he quickly filled it uo with stuff leaving me no space whatsoever.
Durung the time that I was tryimg to deal with all that my roommate went on lockdown. He has niw barely gone out of the house for months. He has also of course barely lifted a finger in the house
To say it is a mess would be an understatement.
So to say boundaries were needed would be a gross understatement. To say detachment was needed was also a understatement. I worked to detach over time despite the issues I was dealing with.
I made my best of it. I keot on going and setting priorities but the lack of consideration was profound. There was absolutely none.
I have two more weeks of this boundary dance to deal with. I have to move stuff into my tiny apartment alowly. It is also more than that. I am not going to kill my self and move all my stuff early because I have already had to deal with so much
Havung a room mate can be cery difficukt. I was thrust into this because of the rennovation. I would have been much better off going to the hotel. There were issues with going to the hotel. I thought I would be better off staying with ny friend. How wrong can you be?
I realky need a few days off to move. This next week I can make it a priority. I have had times when I did not soeak to this friend for a while. i will be entering into one of those after I move out by the middle of the month My aim is not to have anything but very short cinversations with him between now and then. I really do not have any more to say. His profound self absorption cannot be countered
These are veey very difficult times. Being around people who are self absorbed in these times is really really difficult to tolerate. That is advanced program to detach under those circumstances.
I knuw May will be difficult. Being sick in Februsry was incredibly difficult
I have to give myself a lot of soace to get through this time. This whole year has been incredibly hard
