The material presented
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I tried to post this twice last night, and both times, when i hit "submit", it never submitted, for some reason. so i'm going to try again! i did end up going to the room, tho, and shared there. thanks to all who were so supportive to me last night!
anyway, i was married for 16 yrs before my current marriage of 9 yrs, and had 5 children. the youngest was 9 when we split, and he and his older brother, who was 11 at the time, have lived with their dad ever since. to this day, i still cry at times for feeling i abandoned my two young boys. i had the two girls, and then the oldest son for a time, and always wanted to take at least my youngest son in when the older 3 were on there own. the older 3 have each lived with us temporarily after their initial moving out, and my a has adamantly said that now that they have all moved out, there is no way he will let any of my kids ever move in here again. plus, he specified my youngest, cuz he knows i have always wanted him to live here after the others moved out. not that it was a bad experience having them here, cuz it wasnt. its just my a's selfish ways. he cant stand the thought of anyone other than our 7 yr old son and him and i living in a house HE is paying for!
gosh, this is such a long story...i apologize. my ex is on permanent disability, and can no longer afford the 3 bedroom apt they have. the two youngest sons still live with him. the 20 yr old works, and the 18 yr old is finishing his high school diploma right now, and not working. my ex is planning on finding a 2 bedroom for himself and the son that works...says he cant afford the 18 yr old anymore, and is expecting the 18 yr old to move in with us. which i have absolutely NO problem with at all! but...my a husband is the hurdle. i havent even told him yet, cuz i know it will be an absolute NO!
that is why i am just praying my heart out right now that hp take over with this one. i want my son here, and he wants to be here, too. living with his father has not been a pleasant experience for him at all. his dad is a very angry, chemically-induced brain damaged man. which greatly contributes to my guilt of not having the boys with me all these years, also.
so, i guess what i'm asking is that for you that are pray-ers, will you please lift this situation up to your hp and help me with this prayer? this one feels too big for me, and only something hp is going to be able to make happen. maybe hp wont even let it happen, i dont know. all i know is i have to turn it over, and wait for the right time to approach my a about it. i have no clue when that will be, or how to approach him. to be honest, i am terrified about the whole thing. i do not want my son to feel he has no where to go, or that he isnt wanted here.
maybe hp has a different plan for my 18 yr old...but maybe he's gonna work it out so he can come here. i just have to give it to him. my son is planning on starting a training program for a job the first of may, but the one job he did have he got fired from after a short time. he just has no job experience, no real parenting growing up, and just really needs some parenting and guidance on how to get out there in the world and make a go of it. i was not there for him like i should have been at all during the years he really needed guidance, since i allowed living with an a consume me way too much.
so i implore anyone who is willing to please pray with me. many of the people in the room last night offered their prayers, and that is the key to succes with this whole thing....PRAYER!
thank you all in advance, because i know there are many of you who are faithful pray-ers, and i appreciate your support more than i can say!
I will pray, pray, pray for you and your son and your family. Meanwhile, if you can, give it over to God, or HP, and let HP guide you. ((((Hugs to son))))
I know it is so hard to have your husband accept your child as his stepson. I am in a similar situation, altho my daughter is grown, there is still animosity between her and my A. It is very hard, and I hand it over to God at least once and hour
Anyway, rest in the knowledge that prayers are being said on the behalf of you and your son.
Most definitely prayers and many hugs as well. I also greive with you in that the men in our children's lives are so sick in their disease that our greatest fear for our children is that they will continue to feel rejected by those they need the most. Little by little as my children get older they are able to share the pain they carry over their dad and/or stepdad. I have four children, and am grateful that through this program they have some understanding and acceptance of the reality of the limited relationship that these men are able to give to them. I also see choices they make that reflect the emptyness they feel. I pray for them as I will also pray for you and your children that through the love of this program we will be able to receive the hope that is offered to us. I understand today that this can be a very tough road, but this is the road I would rather be on today than where I was without this program.
I truly hope this situation works out exactly as your HP sees is best.
Search - an 18 year old son can still be a challenge to get "raised". My prayers are definately with your family in this blending time. Good Luck with the challenges that lie ahead.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
thank you all so much for your support. it means more to me than i can even express! just knowing others are offering their prayers gives me so much peace. all i can do at this point is trust hp for the outcome. especially knowing i'm not praying alone.
i also really appreciate your words of relating to similar experiences you have had in your own families. there is so much going on in my mind regarding all of this that i cant even sort it all out to write it right now, but i really want you all to know how very much i appreciate your much needed support. your words all feel so kind, understanding, compassionate and sincere.
