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almost everyone in my family is addicted to something. we have our many alcoholics. we also have family members addicted to smoking(i'm guilty of that!). we also have our fair share of druggies, gamblers, "marriage addicts", ...ect . my whole family is addicted to something!
today is my first day not smoking in a long time. i began smoking at 14, quit when i got pregnant(at 21), started smoking again at 23, quit when i got pregnant with my second child(25), started smoking again at 26, and here i go again. my cycle is that i smoke for about a year, then quit for a year or two, then just start up again-no problem. i'm not the kind of person who can quit and then be out with friends and just bum one cigarette from a friend. i don't know the "just one" concept. that is my problem. i'll just have one, and the next thing i know i am buying packs of smokes and not looking back. if i were a drinker i think i could end up like many people in my family--always having one too many. my problem isn't quitting(yeah the first few days suck, but after that it is no problem). my problem is stopping for good.
i have been justifying the reason i smoke. for example...at least i'm not an A, druggie, gambler, and so on like everyone else in my family....i don't smoke around my kids...it's not a big deal...i can stop smoking whenever i want, but i just don't want to. i realize that these are probably the same things that all of our addicted loved ones are saying to themselves, too. so i am kind of feeling down on myself today b/c maybe people think i am a hipocrate. who knows...maybe i am.
so i have hit my 1 year point and feel like it's time for me to quit. i would like to tell myself that this is for good, but i don't know. i'm just going to start today and see where tomorrow takes me, and take each day after one day at a time.
i'm not sure why i decided to post this topic. maybe i'm posting today because it's my first day not smoking in a year and i just wanted to talk. maybe i'm posting b/c i have not been posting lately. maybe i'm posting b/c my A dad is coming home this weekend(i still have not spoken to him in 4 months, but i secretly keep tabs on him). oh well
I think it is great you posted your goal. It holds you accountable to someone other than yourself. We have others here that are quitting, so you should get support from them as well. It is the worst addiction of them all physically, and it has such a mental component too. Good Luck and keep us posted.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Man, can I empathize with you, especially regarding the smoking addiction. I too started around 14 years old and have quit a number of times. Last time I tried Lazer acupuncture and it did help. I stopped for 6 months. I am afraid I used my problems with my AW as an excuse and justification to start again this time. The one thing it does do is show me how horrible any addiction is. I have a little better understanding of what my A is going through because I seem to be powerless to get rid of my addiction also. At least I have cut way down and I make it as difficult as possible to partake of my addiction. Still hope to quit again. I wish you the best of luck!
Good Luck sweetie!! My thoughts on being a hypocrite-- (not trying to start an uproar--really just some thoughts). I think what makes someone a hypocrite is when they think they are better than someone else. Everyone is going to have their problems. We all want our a to stop not because we think we are better than they are, but because they are hurting us and others. Their habits can kill--themselves, and unfortunately others (hit and runs and the like). Granted smoking is not good, it isn't good for your health, you know this and you are going to try to do something about it! GREAT!!!! I think you would be a hypocrite if you wanted everyone else to change but thought you didn't have to---this can be with anything, not just with smoking!! I don't see you as a hypocirte-I see someone who picked up a habit that is very hard to stop!!!! Yes an addiction just like all our other addictions--trying to fix others, caffeine (one of my personal favorites!!!!), worrying. Does this make sense? In my little mixed up mind it does. Oh well. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I wasn't trying to!!!
