The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
OK, so today my 16 yr old son and I set out to install a chain link fence. I went to Lowe's yesterday and bought everything we needed, poles fencing, clips, gate, cement etc. So this morning we get started on clearing the brush and cutting back limbs that would be in the way of the fence line. Under the brush there was barbed wire, of course I found it the hard way..lol That took up the whole morning. We marked where the fence posts would be and my son dug the holes and mixed and poured cement. We then moved on to the side of the house for gate placement. We were on the last 3 holes and the neighbor came over and helped to give my son a break from digging.
I told my son to go in and take a shower and that he had done a great days work. After his shower he asked if he could go get his paycheck from work. He washes dishes in an Italian restaurant 3 days a week. About 20 min later I get a call on my cell. It's my son saying he has been in an accident and was hit by a truck, he's fine, his car is not. The person pulled out in front of him and he had about 20 ft. to try to stop. His little car, that he got in mid Feb. has a crumpled hood and the fender is torn back with a sharp pc. of metal looking like a wing. The bra in the front is shredded and twisted in to the metal and his rim is all dented in. Something is draging underneath too. He did manage to drive it home slowly.
He washes this car almost everyday I feel so bad for him but as soon as I hung up the phone I thanked HP for sparing his life and protecting him.
It struck me that before Alanon I most likely would have been questiong HP for this. Why do this to a young man that works, helps his Mom put in fencing upon asking, pays for his own insurance and gas and takes care of his car (to extreme..lol). Why now with all this family has endured the last 2 mo. (by the way A is sober 60 days!!)
I accepted it immediately without any question of WHY. I just felt bad for my son.
When my son got home he was visibly upset,. I gave him a big hug and told him none of this matters, it's all fixable and even if it isn't the other guy's insurance has to give him the money for another car. What matters is that you came back in one pc. and I'm able to stand here and hug you.
I'm not sure who's lesson this was, his or mine or both.. I'm not questioning anything. I'm just a very grateful Mom tonight.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
If I had been standing in your son's shoes at the end of the day I probably would have experienced some gratitude also. I can't remember my Mom having that kind of response when a crises hit, but then we were pretty well ravaged by the disease and I wasn't helping out too much either. I don't remember getting a whole lot of hugs for that matter and hugs matter especially when you're a teen.
You've made some changes and I'll bet your HP is grateful for the change in you too huh? Thanks for the reflection on how it use to be. It made me smile.
By the way, and this comes from an Alateen sponsor, are there Alateen meetings in your town? Teens are just as affected as we are and sometimes worse and do need to know whats out there to support them.
