Checking in.... - Al-Anon Family Group

Rebecca · Senior Member

Checking in....

twinmom2 · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Rebecca))))

Wow! He is really on a downspiral. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Watching the people we love do destructive things to themselves and us is heart breaking. Sounds like you see the difference between the person he is and his disease. Unfortunately the choices he has made will probably affect the rest of his life. I know it may seem difficult but Detach with love if you can. You can grieve for your "a" at a distance and keep him in your prayers. HP will take care of him and you. When I'm in pain and grieving I try to keep things as calm and quiet as I can. Too much craziness makes me feel out of sorts. I take long baths, walk by the water, call a good friend and talk it out. If you have a sponsor that's a good support. Get to a meeting if you can. Take it easy on yourself and know that we are here for you. You and your "a" will be in my prayers.

Hugs to you,

Twinmom~

Gailey · ~*Service Worker*~

{{{{Rebecca}}}} my heart aches for you. What a terrible place to be. I hope that you are not alone at home. Please, please, please...remember the 3 c's. He is in his HP's hands now so try and let him take care of the situation. Please try to take care of you...just for today!!!

Gail

Robinks · Senior Member

All we can do is take care of us, we don't have any power over anyone else. For me, that was a hard concept to stomache, but it is what the program is about.

Jeannie · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Rebessa)))

I know how bad it hurts to see someone we love self destructing.

The horrible part of this disease is that no one knows how bad things have to get before the person is willing to seek help, if they ever do. Sadly no matter how much you want to, there is nothing you can do. He has made his choices and he needs to deal with them.

You are not to blame for any of this, there was or is nothing you could do.
You can take care of yourslf and you can pray that his HP keeps him safe.

I agree with what others have said, try not to be alone too much. Try not to obsess over it. I know that is so easy to say and so hard to do. All the thinking will not change anything.

Take care and try to get some rest. You are both in my prayers.

love Jeannie

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh honey I am so sorry you have to go through this. Please stick with us, and stay in touch.

Dump off your filth built up inside yourself with us so you can sleep. We understand.

Josey

bobump · ~*Service Worker*~

{{{{{{{{{{Rebecca}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm so sorry you've had to endure this.

Have you been able to try to apply any program tools? Any readings on detachment and letting go?

Like everyone else said, 3C's are in order, you are not at fault for his actions and his downward spiral.

You are right, you can't help him. Only he can help himself at this point and part of that may be he needs to find is own HP.

I hope you can turn toward your HP and the group here to get through this. There is no need to face this alone. By being a part of our online alanon community you are in a place where people from all over the world love and care for you.

Bob

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.