The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My "a" got his driver's license back yesterday. Look out!! He got a DUI with an accident 9 years ago!! He hit a doctor's wife two seconds after pulling out of a parking lot. When he told me how much he drank that night before I'm amazed he was even walking. Basically, the doctor lawyered up well and they threw the book at him. He had no money for legal assistance, his parents were over it. He spent 30 days in jail, $7000.00 in legal and restitution fees, and 9 years to take a bus and walk. (1st offense) He said he was the only one in the DUI class happy to be there. Then something insightful shined through (big deal for him), he said " I noticed everyone was blaming someone else for why they got caught drinking a driving". He said no one took responsibility for what they did. He told the lady at the DMV yesterday, "I've had nine years to pay and think about my crime". He said I'll never take that chance again with getting behind a wheel after drinking". Then last night before he went to work, he said " Getting my driver's license back has got me thinking about other things." I asked him to share and he said well don't tell any of our friends and family. O.K. so he said I'm thinking maybe i need to make a couple meetings a week to keep my drinking in check. He said I don't need to be drunk all the time. He said maybe I can monitor it and see what happens. We talked about some of the guys we know from the program who tried the same thing and it didn't work. He said, well, if I see that one beer turns into 6 or 7 and I can't stop then I'll have to consider stopping all together.
The other night he shared some interesting facts with me about marijuana use. He said in large quanities everyday marijuana will or can, raise blood pressure, loss of inhibition (given), loss of motor skills, delay reaction times. Obesity or being overweight (munchie attack)
He is beginning to examine himself and his using, he doesn't want to committ to sobriety yet. He's tried 4 times and made a solemn vow to quit, but failed. He saw the disappointment in me, his family, my family, and his sponsor. He doesn't want to set himself up for public failure and humiliation. I can respect that. HP has a better chance of doing good work in him during his sober times, and maybe one of those meetings will start a feeling of "I want this way of life, I want to learn more". I believe HP wants to heal and prospor all of us, believing in the healing is the key. Expect good things, speak good things, get good things.
This is part of Letting Go and Letting God that I spoke of yesterday that is difficult to do. If I pray on something and keep fear in my heart about it, then I basically take that prayer right back. If I pray and let go and believe that my prayer will be answered, that is blind faith, but I can rest in peace and get on with a happy day. (Progress not perfection)
Thank you all for the great response yesterday, I learn so much from each and every one of you.
Big Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
It sounds as if you A is taking a hard look at himself and his problems. I guess that is always a first step. I hope he hangs in there for your sake. Best wishes,
It sounds like after nine years he appreciates having his driving priveledge back. It also sounds that he realizes it is a priveledge and the DUI was his, not someone elses fault. That is a big thing.
I hope for his sake and all of you that he sticks to it and does not ever get behind the wheel after drinking again.
he is starting off on the right foot. I wish you all the best.
