The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT Reading for today, December 25 Speaks about achieving maturity. The reading points out that a great tool in this process is to learn how to examine our motives, honestly. When we do this, we will discover that we are not always right and will then will open our minds to helpful influence . We can always justify our actions, but often wee only rationalize a situation unless we dig down to uncover our motives. we may then discover how painful it is to admit even to ourselves that we are wrong.
Al-Anon places a high value on self honesty facing up to. mistakes is the The first step in overcoming them. The quote states; "every way of a man is right. In his own eyes, but God ponders the heart." Since entering Al-Anon, I have practiced examining my motives and was amazed to discover that my motives were not always noble . Many times I attempted to manipulate the situation so that I could achieve my own end. This is very unsettling to discover and since then I have strives to make my actions based on my principles and wonder of wonders it works
Thanks Betty for the daily, your share and the holiday wishes. Back @ you - Merry Christmas to you and yours. I had spent so much time blaming others and the disease that I really found it offensive when others suggested I could be part of the problem! Once I got over 'me', and began to settle in to working the program, I too was disappointed to see that many of my motives were selfish/self-centered, which often drives the manipulation effort.
There is still a part of me that wants things my way in my time-frame! Yet, I now have a program and tools that have shown me when I instead just do the next right thing, and allow others space and respect of their journey, I am amazed at the miracles that happen within me and around me.
I am grateful today that I am free to be me and I've found the joy in allowing others to be who they need/want to be. It's not always easy nor perpetual joy, yet when I can lean in and trust God's plan, I do find the outcomes and results are better than I had expected/anticipated.
I hope everyone has a safe, joyful holiday. Merry Christmas!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thank you DEAR Betty for your service!!! and SO true...i have to check my motives all the time..i can still be "not noble" when i am doing/giving/saying, sometimes i can be downright passive aggressive to "get my way" and I have to face it...feel the sorrow over it....step 4 it....and learn and work to not repeat...
its a never ending struggle, ego vs. the true/pure heart , I have my 2 wolves inside of me...One dark...one light....the one I feed is the one who will thrive...I notice when i am daily working my program, the light wolf starts putting on weight
Thank you Betty and for above shares. I often find myself saying, I'm trying to be a grown up. That can be about making medical appts. to letting go and letting God. Why maturing in a healthy way is so difficult, is due to numerous factors, but as long as I can keep taking my own inventory, and not other's, slowly but surely I am maturing. Happy holidays to all, Lyne
Hi, Betty, thanks for your service, and happy Christmas to all!
I too am learning to examine my motives thanks to this program... As I gradually uncover various selfish motives in different parts of my life, I become more free and happy... After the initial pain. Because my "normal" is living in fantasies and ignoring the reality if its painful, and it is a slow ongoing process of facing reality. Going through the steps with my sponsor is a number one in helping me do that, along with everything else the program offers.
