The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's Courage to Change, and Alateen member shares that they were doubtful when they met with AlAnon members. The author had stopped trusting adults and had assumed that all adults would have the same sick attitudes as their alcoholic parents. The author reflects that, because of this attitude, they were not able to see how AlAnon members might be able to help. It took recognizing their own sick attitude in order for the author to stop pushing adults away and begin to see adults as humans, too. Over time, the author learned to love the AlAnon members as they were, without forcing them to change and without the author needing to change.
Today's Reminder: Al-Anon helps me to see things as they are. The people in my life aren't the way I sometimes think they should be. With Al-Anon's help I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be.
Today's Quote: "Life truly lived is a risky business, and if one puts up too many fences against risk, one ends by shutting out life itself." Kenneth S. Davis
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Today's reminder really resonated with me. Although I didn't grow up with alcoholic parents, my dad is an adult child and my mom has mental health issues. It is absolutely true that I learned not to trust others during my childhood. I learned to accept what my parents were able to give, and took care of myself and my sister. Al-Anon has helped me to learn to see things as they are, love people for who they are, and not expect that I can define how they should be. Interestingly enough, I had higher expectations for my friends than my family before Al-Anon. Thanks to the program, I'm learning to love my friends for who they are as well.
It just started to snow here - a welcome change from the brown. I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning Skorpi and MIP - thank you for your service, the daily and your share/ESH. I grew up with 2 untreated ACoA parents and in recovery, I have come to believe and accept that they truly did the best they could with what they had. There is no doubt that I wish many things were different, yet I also great acceptance and gratitude for all the many life lessons. An attitude of gratitude, combined with living this program as best I can helped me see reality and unconditionally accept it.
I still have moments where I wonder what the next lesson is when folks are acting 'the fool' around me. The good news is I look for the lessons instead of taking their inventory, judging/condemning them, etc. Again, for me, it begins with the daily reprieve I seek from this disease, including the many tools and support we have available in recovery. Left to my own devices, I would still be viewing the world as 'what others did/are doing to me'. I am grateful today I can just let them be, love them unconditionally and use my personal boundaries to preserve my sanity and serenity.
We've got a warm day projected and my gal pals are playing golf. I had to decline and boy....it was hard to do. But I know deep down I am not one to just ride along and self-care/rational thinking won out! We are expected to get some cold/nasty stuff tomorrow so Skorpi - you are about a day ahead of me/us --- weather wise.
Happy Hump Day all - make it a great one!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Skorpi I can so identify with today's reading. Before program, I did not have the tools to deal with life as it was so I used my childhood tools of "Denial and Pretend" in order to face the challenges that surfaced. Needless to say these destructive tools did not help , instead they lead me to despair and fear. Entering program I picked up the tools of trusting a HP, living one moment at a time, being honest, open and willing and then I learned how to face life on life's terms with courage and wisdom .
I found joy , happiness, sadness and loss during this time but none of these negative happenings defeated me, instead HP has lead me to a life I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams. Love living ODAT Have a lovely day
Good morning Skorpi!!
Thank you for your service and the daily. Good to see Iamhere and Betty posting - I always seem to take away something from those two! LOL!
I just LOVE today's reminder:
"Today's Reminder: Al-Anon helps me to see things as they are. The people in my life aren't the way I sometimes think they should be. With Al-Anon's help I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."
This is what I am striving for... in doing this, I defeat the "managing monster" within me!
Peace & Love y'all!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Skorpi. Betty kind of said what I feel. Life used to be so unbearable for me I had to be in my fantasy world of denial and pretending. And those traits kept me from facing reality and therefore working through the feelings and grief so I could MoveOn
I absolutely could not deal with life. And when I was told the first time that I had to deal with life on lifes terms in order to learn how to live, I felt at the time, that life was my greatest enemy and that it had put a curse on me. Really thats what I thought. I thought I was the only victim in the world LOL. Now I realize that yes what happens to me can be very unwanted, but the most important thing is what do I think about it? What do I feel about it ? And the big one, is what do I do about it? Now I know I have options. When unwanted things happen to me now, I dont have to react, I can stop, breath , reach out, do some research, ask for help, and at the very least, I can step back and or walk away. I accept now that changes inevitable and I think the universe does this to try and achieve balance as the energies change all the time. So I have to go with it, dont resist it. I think the biggest thing for me Was that I was always afraid that things would not work out. I had no faith that things could work out so I lived in fear. I lived in a constant state of fear
I dont suppose I will ever like change, but at least I can face it now and look at the reality and make decisions based on reality and what Ive learned in my program. Thank you for your service and your share
