The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The kids and I will start moving this weekend. It has been beyond stressful. I've had to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house almost single-handedly. I will be moving into a nice tiny little two-bedroom place back in town close to their school. Once we get through this part I think life will be a lot easier. But still have some difficult parts to get through.
We had never saw it this big of a house it was just kind of how things worked out. I will never make that mistake again in my life. Even when it was my wife and I it was really difficult to maintain and keep on top of. Now, with it just being me it's been impossible. Things packed up and ready to go the houses feeling very empty. It's kind of depressing. And a lot of ways I feel like it is a reflection of my life right now. Over-extended, and empty. I also feel like there's some lessons to be gleaned here so I'm trying to absorb those as well. One thing I can say for sure is this has definitely been an experience.
((WestMan)) Prayers and Blessing on the way so that your new home will be filled with joy and happiness. Moving is stressful and it sounds as if you are absorbing the lessons of a lifetime as you walk though this process.
Sending prayers and postive thoughts .
Yesterday ,my partner of over 30 years moved into my home and I can understand the confusion caused by changing living arrangements.
Prayers on the way.
Good for you on the new beginnings .. I find when these things happen it helps me move forward in a positive way. I am grateful that is the case and for those things. Moving sucks .. LOL .. I second that one.
Lots of prayers and positive thoughts as well as you start this new chapter.
Betty!! WoW .. that's impressive .. LOL!! Congrats on your new chapter as well. :)
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
(((Westman))) - sending tons of positive energy your way and prayers for a smooth move and a lovely new beginning. I'm with Betty - moving is a hugely stressful event - do what you can to stay present and take good care of you...I hear you on the 'super-sized' house - we have 3 levels, 5 bed rooms, 4 garages, etc. and 2 people. I can't keep up and truly just don't bother any longer. I met with an architect yesterday to do some design work to expand my first ever home - a small one-story ranch in the same city.....I so want to down-size, simplify and move.
The smaller home is the first home I ever bought. It's where I lived when the disease of Alcoholism took over and it's where I lived when I came out of treatment more than 30 years ago. It's got good and bad mojo/memories -- yet standing there yesterday, I felt the presence of my HP saying that no matter where I go, where I land and how I arrive, I am not alone. It was a powerful, powerful moment for me. I am fortunate that my architect is also in recovery as I got really, really quiet for a bit and that is so not me as a general rule.
I do believe that we are not given more than we can handle and that what "is" is what's supposed to be. Hang in there - the best is yet to come!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Congratulations on the new chapter. I hate the packing but love new destinations. It will be so good to have an easy to maintain home! keep on keeping on and sending you lots of positive vibes also.
This will certainly be a transition for all. But mostly for you! I found that my teen-aged son LOVED our new tiny home, despite the space challenges. Now that I can look back, I believe he just wanted out of that home-life so badly. We didn't live in as large of a house, but we did have to pack up 29 years of stuff. It was challenging to be sure! Be gentle with you and the kids this weekend. Emotions will come.
I was compelled to open this thread based on the title - metaphors. Today I happened to drive by the place where my spouse and I had our wedding reception. Since I could not have the outdoor wedding I wanted (parents insisted on a church wedding), we compromised and had an outdoor/indoor reception. It was a moderate sized place with beautiful grounds and a tiny hotel that we stayed in for our wedding night. It had been completely razed to the ground! Not even the lovely grounds were kept. I thought to myself that it was ironic that it occurred the same time my marriage fell apart as well. Talk about a metaphor!
Sending you peace & serenity this weekend, Westman!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
OH my........hugs and prayers. Just the thought of moving....it's such an emotional experience. I love what PandP said too, be gentle with you and the kids. My kids always reacted to a move. They were "tied" into the familiarity and memories, whether good or bad to the house also. I read somewhere that it's normal for children to be emotional and moody. It sure helped seeing the article before one of my most stressful moves.
The good news here is my kids are more than ready. They are so sick and tired of the crazy commutes and not being near other kids. They've all said how sad it feels, especially the girls who have grown up in this home. But, they're ready.
For my part this place represented my path away from that of a lot of my family who have long struggled with addiction and other problems. For whatever reason the addiction genes seem to have skipped me and my sisters and one or two of my cousins. But the others not so much. I know how ridiculous it is to put so much of my life's meaning into a place but I did.
The title caught me as my life and recovery has been guided by metaphors. Hawaiian understanding is metaphoric...I listen in pictures and was questioned often as a younger person when family, friends and teachers wanting me to understand more easier so that they wouldn't have to spend so much effort in trying to get me to understand what they were trying to get into me. "What do we have to do...draw you a picture?" Yes became the response and yes is the response now as pictures tell me the whole story. My Higher Power is Hawaiian Nature and reveals so much to me thru my culture and I am forever grateful and my life has been an awesome journey where ever I have gone. Thanks for the share. (((hugs)))
Just got a message from my friend who we helped out a couple years ago by taking her cat off her hands during her own housing upheaval. She's picking up the cat. I was relieved when she told me earlier this week that she could take him back. Now I'm sitting here in the coffee shop in tears over that cat who drove me nuts. Constantly mewling, scratching up rugs and furniture, trying to sleep on my head. Guess I still liked him though. Dangit
Hi Westman, I understand. I am glad you have found a good home for the cat. I try to look at things from the animal's viewpoint. For me, when I know my animals are safe, it is a good source of gratitude and serenity.
Awe, hugs, Westman!
Those little furballs can really dig themselves in, huh?
Peace
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((Westman))) - I get this totally! I love my dog greatly and she is the best companion I could ask for! The dog before here was a train-wreck from the moment we brought him home.....he chewed everything and really never stopped. That dog ate an entire rug, glass Christmas tree ornaments, socks, legos, water toys, plastic bowls, etc. You name it - he chewed and ate it - even socks. He would saunter into the room, and grab the sock right off your feet and take off with them - crazy, reasonably aggressive dog!
Yet, when he passed on, I was devastated - as much as any other pet I've had. We grow attached and it's a loss! Take good care of you and prayers continue for a good move!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Serenity, I am so glad that I have program otherwise this move would not have happened.