The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi y'all... ... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]...
ah were always set up against "city hall", and the gummint, as i used to call it.
fact is- I lived in a valley that was flooded to provide electric power- in the 80's and 90's.
As as an adult child i was always going to have issues with authority. Not being able to stick up for myself- when ah needed to.
And chucking all of my toys out of the cot- when I needed to be calm and collected.
Without the dam I would have bin a completely different sort of person.
When I think of power today i think about electric power- its uses and hazards. A power greater than myself- no. A useful facility- yes.
The upside of the development here- was that Aa and Alanon came along with the construction crews. We had one AA member here. When I was 15 he came along to school and gave us a 12th Step- it was an awesome experience and it sowed a seed.
At its peak we had 15 or 18 members in our Alanon group. Numbers declined when the construction period was over.
our town was pretty rough and tough, even before the dam. I always say that in Alanon we kept out records in a chocolate box, and out finances in a pickle jar.
Alanon can adapt to any place or culture- it is universal. We can tweak and adapt it to local conditions. Tradition 4. But it does remain basically the same- all over the world.
I will make one exception for a group full of middle steppers... it does seem like a muddle and pandemonium sometimes... -as we come to grips with our circumstances. This process left me with lifetime bonds- and a deep abiding trust in myself.
I can look back at this phase with a sense of humour now- but i can tell you- it was not pretty, or pleasant, at the time!
i can see a few nods and smiles here, as I write this. It is freezing cold here this morning- the mountains around are white with frost.
i look at my header, with pride. Today i manage to life, in the present, much of the time. I find that our higher power is much more effective and available, in the present moment.
Lots to be thankful for. heaps!
But that is for another share...
I still like to put my hand up at a meeting- hi! Tis me...!
-love y'all... more than I could have ever expected... !!! Life itself... ...
Aroha nui back at you David...I like the title to this post and can hold it's light up in front of me and respond for myself. We did too have dams above the town in the valley in CA where I got into recovery...in three attempts before finding a chair I would and could remain in for a time so that I could learn some "stuff". The lights to my path then were held before me by the women of Al-Anon and while I made their lives difficult for a while I still learned enough and more to keep coming back in my own way. They found me a chore or a mess at that time and never ever gave up on me. Thank you God of their understanding.
There was much to learn and much more after that and mostly I learned by association because of my oppositional defiant disorder. It wasn't them it was me. To crack the dam would have flooded the entire district and I was to learn slowly including going to college and using the VA and all the literature I could find. It saved my life and also the life of my alcoholic/addict wife of that time. I listened and learned even when I didn't want to or like to and pearls of wisdom and recovery seemed to come few and far in between.
My first sponsor was a woman who fired me and led me to a sponsor of the opposite gender, a man who was seriously put together I can admit by a power greater than I could imagine. The stunning changes that have happened in my life, the "now me" can often be filed in the "Miracles" file. Truly they were and often are still beyond my imagination. The now me is a man who has been blessed beyond expectations. HP even used my alcoholic/addict wife and her entry into her own recovery as a metaphor, thoughts, feelings and actions, for humility (or as taught by my sponsor...being teachable). What and awesome picture as she wore a bag over her head in early recovery so that she "would allow herself to be led blindly thru recovery".
Today the me I am is a sharer where HP places me that others might have the miracle also. Thanks for letting me share. ((((hugs)))) Mahalo Pina
Great share David - love you now and then! I'm grateful to be on this journey with all 3 of you above me as well as all others that come to MIP for the fellowship, recovery, shares and more.
I am sitting this morning with my HP as I gather myself to head out to a funeral for a friend. She was a double-winner and full of light, love and pure joy. Yet, she battled the demons we are all aware of and chose to end her journey on this earth and to go to whatever awaits us next.
It's been 2 weeks and those few of us who knew her outcome were not free to share/discuss simply because this disease - far-reaching, powerful, reckless and baffling had driven her large extended family to places difficult to track down for notifications. Finally, we were able to spread the news about her life and her service today, so I had my calls to make last night.
I can not begin to understand her pain, her life or her end. Yet, I can be grateful for her in my life, and my willingness to keep living life on life's terms, one day at a time. Most days, as discussed above, I am serene and content and full of love from HP by being present and willing. Today, I will do what I can to focus on her, her life and not the end of her life.
Thank you for reminding me that there is always calm before and after the storms of life. (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sad to hear, Iam... it takes time to let the hurt settle... and to move on with the spirit of our friends and family with us...
I know as we become older this happens more and more frequently... it does become second nature, and prepares us too- for the final release and farewell.
... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]...
...
... thanks so much for noticing lil ol me...