The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the writer talks about gratitude for our fellowship where everyone speaks for himself or herself. There is no authority who tells what 'our' experience has been, and each of us speaks for him/her self.
The sharing of experience, strength and hope helps us learn specific ways in which other have applied Al-Anon to their lives. We can then take what we like and leave the rest. This individual approach supports our common purpose - recovery from the effects of alcoholism. The author suggests avoiding phrases such as, "This is a problem for us" and/or "We tend to do that". Instead, sharing is an opportunity to see self more clearly.
Today's reminder -- Today I will speak for myself, secure in the fact that I am supported by a fellowship of men and women who "understand as perhaps few others can."
Today's quote -- "Our recovery depends on our ability to tell our own story - not that of an alcoholic or another Al-Anon or Alateen member." from Why is Al-Anon Anonymous?
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When I arrived, I was obsessed with the disease and the diseased. It was habit to blame both for my predicament. When it was suggested I share about me, how I felt, how I thought - about me, I was at a loss for words. My thinking was distorted and I was filled with shame, as I deep down thought I failed because I could not change/cure the disease in my home.
As I began to settle in, I did find much of my experience and feelings were common and I could share without fear of advice, judgment or worse. My sponsor worked with me to change my communication from, "He did .................................... and I am angry" to I statements - how it is affecting me and why. I learned that when I start a statement with You or He I was still unconsciously blaming others.
I struggled to tell my story without oversharing about those with the disease. With support and the Al-Anon tools, I no longer feel that way. I still vent at times about others, but then settle in and try to find my own part and my own changes I can make to remedy my side of the street.
I am grateful for Al-Anon, MIP, a great sponsor and some trusted program friends! Happy Thursday to one and all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH love this powerful reminder . Years ago when I first began this journey. i was startled to discover that i put the focus on others, helped them etc in order to keep the focus off myself and my choices.
I was so cleaver in making myself invisible that i soon became invisible even to myself . Meetings. sharing with a sponsor and others who truly understood, helped me to finally see how destructive this tool had become.
Once I had accepted the program and learned from the ESH of others, I worked the Steps on this issue and found my voice. Thank you alanon for giving me back my true self with the courage to keep showing up.
Thanks for your service IAH and I pray that you and my entire MIP family have a great day
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:02:07 PM
Thank you for that share. I can so relate to this. I strive to not share others stories and speak only for myself and what's going on with me. I to have spent to much time focusing on others and pretty much lost myself in the process. It was shocking actually how consumed I became by trying to fix. Life is so much more enjoyable when I am running only one life (mine) instead of trying to keep everyone else's life propped up.
This is such a huge struggle for me! To let go of my control of others and just focus on what I can do in my own life. I think I am starting to understand how to let go of that need for control, but it has only been in the past few days that I have been able to remind myself to stop replaying the actions of others and just live my actions and do what I need to do.
Thank you for this reminder.
