The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not posted here in a very long time, and am due for an update... soon! I do visit and read almost daily, and I thank you for all the wisdom, dedication and compassion displayed here on a daily/hourly basis!
I have two friends who have both recently lost their husbands due to alcohol-related issues. Both have children in the 16-23 year old range. They would like some tools to offer their children, who are not interested in Al-Anon at the time, recognizing that their children will pick them up if and when ready.
If anyone has any recommendations for teens and young adults that are grieving, and/or apply Al-Anon principles to a sad situation such as this one, where the A is now gone and the loved ones are left behind struggling to understand, I would greatly appreciate it!
There is an Al-Anon book that addresses grief, called "Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses." Maybe your friends would find that helpful.
Something I found helpful after losing a spouse to alcoholism was to learn more about the disease, which helped me be not so angry at him and to forgive. I wish I'd known this information earlier, but even after a death, it helped me because otherwise I would have carried that anger the rest of my life, and perhaps influenced how I spoke with my children about their father. The book I liked was "Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism" by Milam and Ketcham. It's an older book, but still available. I believe kids 16 and up would be able to understand it, especially if they like science.
Aloha Oceanpine and good on you for offering your support to others who have suffered the fatality consequence of this disease. I was an Alateen group sponsor for 6 years as a part of my service in recovery and knew of and met many who were resistive to the program that I understood from my own behaviors and reactions. The teens were more staunch in staying away from the program and what worked from the parents who were also Al-Anon members was to put them in the car...drive them to the meeting...and drop them off into the rooms. Quite usually that worked right off because they, the teens, found out that the groups were put together and run by others teens. Sit in and Alateen meeting and watch them work their recovery. It will often blow your socks off as it did mine. I am a teener for life even though there are no meetings in our area. The literature suggestions here also provide great support. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
My 17 yo son has been to one Alateen meeting. He loved it for exactly the reason Jerry said. He wasn't very interested, plus he has Boy Scouts on that night, but the AW threw a total dry-A fit getting ready for going to a court of honor with us that I abandoned the house and it happened to be on the same night.
He felt the same thing you and I did, that he was in a room of peers who are completely different but have one thing in common.
Sorry, I don't know of any good teen literature, hopefully you can take that you want from the above.
