The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting.
The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple
of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I could flee in terror.
Anyway, I stepped out into the lobby right after walking in because my emotions overcame me. I was sobbing. I felt a hand on my shoulder
and it was a woman who it turned out was leading the meeting. She just said to me "We've all been where you are at" in a very kind voice.
That gave me the courage to go back into the meeting that hadn't started yet. It got quite full, about 20 people. About 8 of us were men, including the man
sitting next to me. He was also very kind and make a point of introducing me to the whole group once the meeting started. They even insisted on starting on Step 1
even though it was a 4th step meeting. I tried to protest but they wouldn't hear it. When it came my turn to talk, I passed. After the man next to me
talked, I raised my hand and asked to speak. I was very nervous and scared. I broke down a couple of times and they were all very patient and understanding.
At the end, several people approached me with pamphlets, books and personal phone numbers. Just totally good people who were/are trying to help me thru
my grief. There's another meeting I plan on going to at 8:00 AM tomorrow. But I sure can't wait until next Friday to go back to where I was today.
I'm cried out, exhausted and I was told to quit saying "I'm sorry" every time I talk. lol...must be what I'm used to at home.
Thank You David. The kindness of total strangers blows my mind.
It's like I read in one of the books they gave me, "It feels like they were
waiting for me". So very true.............
Hi, Dalbert, it's wonderful you went to your first face to face meeting and are planning to continue attending, and I agree that the kindness of people in this program is really something to witness. I remember also when I posted to MIP for the first time and received ESH of others I couldn't completely believe what people here wrote because I hadn't seen anything like this in an internet forum! This is not the usual kind, though. Its great you've found this program, keep coming back :)
Dalbert, I'm so glad you found a wonderful meeting. It sounds like this group has the true spirit of Al-Anon, and now you know -- like we have all learned -- that you are not alone. Meetings like this are why I keep going back.
Way to go Dalbert - so happy to hear you found your courage to go and attend the meeting! We also will go to the first step if/when there is a newcomer....I am excited to hear you are going again tomorrow - I went to as many meetings as I could in the beginning as I truly felt I found 'my tribe' - those who really had been there and understood all that goes with loving another with this cunning, baffling, powerful and frustrating disease!
And - who knows...maybe tomorrow's meeting will be even better! That's what I love about healthy Al-Anon meetings - I feel nervous to attend a new/different group and then once it starts, there's a fellowship familiarity for me and I calm down. So glad you went, got numbers, found local support and intend to return!
Keep coming back - it works when we work it!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((Dalbert)) I am so glad the you found a face to face meeting and experienced the compassion and support of people who truly understand. You are indeed a courageous person so please do keep coming back
Dalbert you found the family!!! Yay. I relate to your post thank you and even us men find out why HP issued us tear glands. Your heart was being spoken to by he rest of the family and it wants to run back. Good on you and great on them for introducing you to the 1st step in program. Crying is often the sign of powerlessness and your post reminded me of my own tear glands. Keep coming back indeed. ((((hugs))))
And it's all pretty much a blur. I was told everyone's name but
I won't remember any. Not that I don't want to, it was more like a struggle to even maintain my composure. Plus my main two weaknesses are remembering names and I am very directionally challenged. : )
Do not worry about remembering names- just keep coming back. Remember we introduce ourselves at the start of each meeting.
Receiving the support and compassion from the group is important as well as picking up new tools to live by Glad that you received literature it is very helpful in between meetings
So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting.
The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple
of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I could flee in terror.
Anyway, I stepped out into the lobby right after walking in because my emotions overcame me. I was sobbing. I felt a hand on my shoulder
and it was a woman who it turned out was leading the meeting. She just said to me "We've all been where you are at" in a very kind voice.
That gave me the courage to go back into the meeting that hadn't started yet. It got quite full, about 20 people. About 8 of us were men, including the man
sitting next to me. He was also very kind and make a point of introducing me to the whole group once the meeting started. They even insisted on starting on Step 1
even though it was a 4th step meeting. I tried to protest but they wouldn't hear it. When it came my turn to talk, I passed. After the man next to me
talked, I raised my hand and asked to speak. I was very nervous and scared. I broke down a couple of times and they were all very patient and understanding.
At the end, several people approached me with pamphlets, books and personal phone numbers. Just totally good people who were/are trying to help me thru
my grief. There's another meeting I plan on going to at 8:00 AM tomorrow. But I sure can't wait until next Friday to go back to where I was today.
I'm cried out, exhausted and I was told to quit saying "I'm sorry" every time I talk. lol...must be what I'm used to at home.
Amazing isn't it? Well, yes, but not really. These people weren't strangers...they were friends you just hadn't met yet. The beginner is the most important person in the room...why? Because all of us remembers very clearly when we first walked into the the rooms. I remember it like it was yesterday. So now as seasoned people we do for others what others had done for us.
Keep going back.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Good of you to not feel too embarrassed by your tears to not follow that wonderful lady back into the room! I was exactly where you were at when I went to my first meeting. I almost didn't go in b/c I was crying so much. I could barely hold on to my composure through the whole meeting. But some very kind people came up afterwards and gave me a hug and told me it would get better. I will get better... just keep coming back!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
That's awesome that you went for your first meeting. I was a person that thought I could do it alone and resisted for a long time in seeking support. The level of acceptance, warmth, and understanding I received at a face to face meeting was phenomenal. I felt like I had known these people for years. It was like a healing balm to my beaten soul. I am so thankful for the program.
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