The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just can't seem to make my mind stop thinking about everything that could go wrong in life. I struggle on a daily basis with not letting fear run away with me. Some days I can reign everything in, but it's difficult. Unfortunately, with my job, every time I'm feeling fearful I can't just stop and pull out an al anon book, go to a meeting, or call someone. I've been trying to rely on my HP to be my strength and rid me of my fears.
Welcome --Fear was huge for me so that I developed the principle of reciting the serenity prayer repeatedly upon feeling fearful and if fear surfaced in an unexpected place, the slogan like "let go and let god" repeated within my mind helped. You are not alone so please do keep coming back
Hugs, (((Karebear))), I'm glad you joined MIP and are attending Al-Anon meetings... I so hear you about fear, as I was really consumed by it by the time I found this program. I also used to recite the serenity prayer often, and I still do. Learning to live one day at a time is and was very important to me, and while I struggle with it, the more I learn to do that the better I can handle life. I'm also learning daily to stay present in the moment as this is the only moment I can do anything about... Its not easy, but I've found it true that this program works when I work it, it just doesn't happen fast... Its great to have you here, keep coming back :)
Hi Karebear,
Like Betty, I also recite the serenity prayer - mostly the "change the things I can, accept the things I can't" bit as I also have a job where I can't just drop everything when I get the fear. I have been working the program for a few months now and the fear is with me and still overwhelms me at times but a lot of shares for me have been about being in the moment as well. Fear comes from predicting the future and predicting all the worst things that can happen. I'm not a clairvoyant, I have to remember that. my future will happen as it happens. I deal with one this at a time as it happens. I'm making plans for the future but I can't predict how they will work out. I have to trust that my HP puts me where I'm supposed to be. Keep coming back. This forum really helps me.
Rachael
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"To change the world, start with one step. However small, first step is hardest of all" Dave Matthews Band
I too send a warm welcome to you Karebear - glad you found us and glad that you joined right in. I also use the Serenity Prayer to help center/calm me and when I am short on attention, time or energy, my abbreviated version - Bless Them, Change Me. I too came with all kinds of fear and my sponsor kept bringing me back to the here/now - it's Wednesday at xx:xxpm - you are fine where you are in this moment on this day. I believe this was her way of showing me how much I projected which was mostly negative outcomes, which generated the fear.
Meetings, phone conversations with program friends, and all things recovery helped me greatly and still do so today. Keep coming back - you're not alone and there is hope and help in recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks David I like to remind myself that FEAR is often False Evidence Appearing Real. I am ALSO reminded that" irrational fear" is a symptom of living with this dreadful diseases, so I look at the fear, determine if it requires any action on my part and if not I recite the serenity prayer until it lifts.
Welcome, Karebear! I found the slogans especially helpful when I needed quick recovery in the moment. "One Day At A Time" was my go-to, and it often helped to calm me.
Aloha Karebare and welcome to the family...the miracles in progress family. You have mentioned the strongest emotion I've hear talked about in the rooms of Al-Anon and forms such as MIP. This disease is titled Cunning, Powerful and Baffling and so fear is a natural first emotion. Fear for me use to reveal itself in anger and rage and it took working with others such as my sponsors to come to understand that. Animals rage when they are being scared just as I did only I didn't get it back then yet. It took my sponsor and counselors asking me, "so what are you afraid of" and then taking the time to inventory what was going on.
False evident appearing real was the huge key to help me unlock what was going on inside of me. I would inventory what I was thinking when angry and raging and came to understand that what I found out wasn't real enough to trigger my insane actions and reactions to my alcoholic/addicts drinking and using and what other people were doing around me that didn't have much power.
The alcoholic brain is a tricky brain as is the friends and family and sometimes even more tricky because we do not have the anesthesia of alcohol to block out reality...we go thru the disasters wide awake and go insane. A good practice of mine was to slow down, go quiet and then ask myself the inventory questions...is this real or just my imagination, what is the worse that is or can happen, could I be wrong about this?
Keep coming back cause this works when we work it....((((hugs))))
Welcome (((Karebare))) I too like to repeat the Serenity Prayer when I'm feeling anxious or fearful and back it up with a face to face meeting. Coming in to share in MIP was a great choice, glad you found us and please come back.
Oh, the dreaded fear. I still battle it daily. What I've learned to do is accept that I am fearful. I do a lot of self talk. One of my favorites is a 'just for today' from Al Anon literature: I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
It reminds me that nothing lasts forever. That whatever it is that I'm facing is only temporary. You are OK and you will be OK again tomorrow. Find a way to center your breathing, find a mantra or a saying that works for you, and maybe take up journaling. I journal every day and I do my best to turn everything over to a higher power. Just by writing it out, it helps me release.
There's another saying in Al Anon called: When I got busy, I got better. There are great Al Anon talks on podcasts that you can listen to, as well. I listen to them on my way to work. Use any tools you can find and just breathe. Be gentle on yourself. I've been in program for 7 years and I'm still a work in progress. HUGS to you!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
...] ... I always believed that fear and anger were the two sides of the same coin. Not sure, at the moment.
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