The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When alcoholism or any addiction of another becomes an obsession in "your life" its time to stop and think what would make another happy and start worrying about yourself.
Take time to become calm and centered.
Get in touch with your own values.
Dont react, respond: To respond takes thoughtfulness. Reactions, on the other hand are emotion-based, and not well thought out.
Look for others who can support or encourage you, whether friends or professionals. Turn to books, web sites or support groups such as Alanon that specialize in the trouble that you are experiencing.
Take time to grieve: Whatever the loss, take time to turn inward and process it. Dont shut out the pain, Those who grieve will become stronger and recover better and are better able to help others later.
Get moving: Dont wait for others to rescue you. The people who accomplish the most after a loss are those who take action.
Are you hungry to get healthy? Do what millions of people have done........ get to an alanon meeting, not to save your alcoholic, but to save you, and start living the life YOU are deserving to live...............................................
Gardengal, This is a real good post. The only way I know to help us with the disease we have - however it is coming into our lives, is to go to meetings, speak, get a list of phone numbers, use them!, get a sponsor, and start working the steps. The program is simple, but not easy! It's so easy for us to want to take the easy way out, to not do the work of the program, but in my experience, it is the actual working of the steps, with God's help, that makes us healthy and able to respond differently to the a and to all things in our lives. At a certain point in working the steps, our HP steps in and does the work, but it requires our footwork. I see a lot of sharing about our problems with the a out here, but not a lot of program. I am wanting to hear the esh of others, and you have done that. Thank you so much for being here. We are all here for each other. Blessings, mebjk
Yes sometimes it is hard to see I have a choice. Right now I am avoiding spending too much time with the A because we argue. So I just spend it in the room and on my own tasks. I give up trying to include him in my life and try to get through to him. I stop being overinvolved with him (a lifelong trait for me to be overinvolved with others) and start being involved in my own life. Of course he tries to push those buttons but I don't respond in the same way.
Thanks for the reminder I have many choices. I may not like them but I can acknowledge them.
