Today's reading discusses back to basics.  Many of us who have wished, prayed and hoped for sobriety in our loved ones may have new 'life' concerns when/if recovery happens in our A.  Many of us are dismayed when sobriety does not bring the happily-ever-after ending we've wanted and waited for.

With the active disease, most of us knew what to expect.  Suddenly, things are different.  Perhaps the 'homebody' is now never/rarely at home.  Perhaps the 'life of the party' now is sleeping, communicating, adulting and involved in decision-making.  We also often find that issues we attributed to the drinking still persist even after the drinking has stopped.  Many of us find strong feelings stirring up.

We find in recovery that it's alright to feel disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, confused or more about the changing circumstances.  When we decide to accept instead of assess, we are better able to take care of ourselves and lean into our program.  Back to the basics helps us return to focusing on us instead of all around us.

Today's Reminder --  I will allow myself the dignity to discover exactly how I feel about the changes that are happening today, and I will share those feelings with an Al-Anon friend.

Today's Quote from ... In All Our Affairs --  "Al-Anon gave me the awareness that what I felt did matter."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is no doubt that change for me can be difficult.  I do best with structure and routines.  Life is not made in a manner that serves me best, as change is always happening.  Add this disease, and it can be maddening!!

I know I had so many hopes and dreams for my A(s) before the disease took hold.  With each progression, my hopes and dreams faded and fear rose to the top of my thinking process.  Fear dominated so much that I was stuck in worry, anxiety and never the present - always the projected future or the past.

Many starts and stops in recovery did not help my own insanity.  Yet, when I brought my attention back to me, self-care, my recovery each/every time, it became easier to accept what is and to consider my own motivations and expectations.

On this present day, 2 of 3 are in recovery and sober.  I still dreamed of a time when we would be a 'normal family' and what I am discovering is we already are.  There are no perfect families, marriages, spouses, children, jobs, etc.  Joy comes for embracing what is today and realizing that HP truly does have this.

Anytime I am feeling restless, irritable or discontent, I take myself right back to Steps 1-2-3 - this reminds me that powerlessness is a gift and I'm not alone.  So grateful for recovery, life and all I have - it's a marvelous place to be.

Happy Thursday all - we're going to have closer to normal spring temperatures today - yay!!!  Softball was cancelled last night as the wind chills were in the 20s - we will be playing ball tonight....make it a great day!