The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Mistakes and shame: The reading talks about the fact that we all make mistakes, and we can learn from those we've made. We can make amends, and change our behavior and attitudes. The writer further says that the biggest obstacle about learning this process is shame. Shame prevents us from knowing we did our best at the time, and that as humans mistakes are going to be made.
Today's Reminder: Today I will love myself enough to recognize shame as an error in judgment.
Quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
This reading speaks to me because there was a time in my life where I felt since I could not be perfect, I was a complete failure. I would criticize myself and couldn't even like myself. I would obsess over mistakes and feel so ashamed and embarrassed . Life was not good. No unconditional love to be found in my brain or heart.
Over the years I started to learn to forgive myself, and accept myself as I am. With program it pushed me forward on a learning curve about loving myself, and of course, change the things I want to improve. One of the wonderful gifts I have received from Alanon is better self-esteem and self-acceptance. As they say, it works if you work it! Lyne
Hello Lyne This is a wonderful reminder. One of the great gifts of practicing this program was that of learning to love myself. I found that I could not truly love others, if i did not love myself first.
Unconditional love is a gift i give myself and others.
Thanks for your service.
Thanks for your service, Lyne, and all the ESH. This is such an important topic for me now as I've begun to see how much shame I'm carrying around almost constantly. I'm working on turning it over to my hp and I've seen improvements already. This is a gift of the program! Have a great Monday :)
Happy Monday, All! Lyne, thank you for your service!
I just loved today's reading. There are some readings in C2C, when I get to them I remember having read them before. That wasn't so with this reading, and I think that is probably because I read it through different eyes today than I did in the past. When I started working the steps, I thought of making amends as a scary thing, now, I see amends as my ticket to freedom from everything that holds me back.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day today. This was the first morning that I saw a little lightening on the horizon when I left the house, which tells me that spring is on its way!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
As someone who struggles with the thought that everything I do must be perfect or it's inferior, this share is always important. It helped me remember that despite my part in all this, I did the best I could with the information and tools at the time.
I do not have to feel shame over the ending of my marriage... after all, it takes two!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning all - happy Monday. thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH and shares. Al-Anon gave me the gift of accepting my humanism complete with success, mistakes, wrong turns and more. I came broken and full of shame, remorse, and so much more - certainly feeling as a huge failure.
I've learned that I'm expected to make mistakes. I'm not expected to know all the answers and I'm OK exactly as I am. It is healthy to feel my feelings yet unhealthy to view them as facts. I'm grateful that I can keep focus on me and allow my mistakes and those of others to not derail an entire day.
Practice, practice, practice is what I heard over and over again from those who came before me. And I did this as best I could and continue to do so. I do view mistakes differently now - as speed bumps vs. cliffs and just the change in outlook and processing keeps me closer to the middle of the boat than ever before.
We have sunshine - yay! We have warmer weather - yay! I've been to the grocery store, post office, car wash, bank and I can't remember and am headed to the golf course shortly....I am so glad that we have a touch of spring for me to warm my heart and 'play' outdoors today. Make it a great day all! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am ashamed that I have dealt with so much shame in my life. Sometimes I work w it & other times I hide from it. I really did read the reading this morning. I need to read it again.
Great share thank you. This really strikes a chord with me. So many times I've felt like a failure because I haven't been perfect. I need read today's reading again.
