The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
To those who celebrate the holiday, happy Valentine's Day!
With today's reading in Courage to Change, the slogan "When in doubt, don't" came to mind.
The author shares that, in those times when they felt the most need to find an immediate solution were also those times when they were not yet ready to make a decision. Confusion, the author shares, can be seen as a gift from HP, allowing us to take our time with any decisions we make and not acting before we are ready. They author equates dealing with confusion to baking bread. If the bread isn't done, you don't take it out of the oven and insist that it is ready to eat. Similarly, if confusion is in place, and a clear solution to a problem has not shown itself yet, we can trust that if we wait, the solution will appear when the time is right.
Today's reminder: I will thank my Higher Power for whatever I experience today, even if I feel troubled or confused. I know that every experience can offer me a gift. All I have to do is be willing to look at my situation in the light of gratitude.
Today's Quote: "Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." Helen Keller
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When I first came to Al-Anon, I was very familiar with the desperate feeling of needing to find a solution and make a change, and not knowing what the right solution or change was for me. I hear at a meeting that deciding not to decide yet is a decision, too, and so I gave myself the permission to decide not to decide yet about what changes I wanted to make. I few years later, I am still deciding not to decide yet about many things, and I am confident in the decisions I have made. I am glad that I haven't rushed decisions, or done what others in my life would encourage me to do before I was ready. I am still learning and growing, and I would not have these opportunities for growth if I had forced decisions and changes before I was ready for them.
I hope everyone has a lovely day today!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you for your service Skorpi! The still learning and growing is a gift for me as well. May be there should be another slogan about "just bake it"
I am learning the more I am able to stop, think, and verbally tell others, I need to think about this or that or pray about this or that......there is peace in it all. IN that confusion it all gets muddled if I put pressure on myself to act before the confusion has had time to bake.
Good Morning Skorpi Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for the day and for whatever situation may present itself. Prior to program I was always rushing about (in my mind)needing answers immediately and as a result made many rash decisions. Learning to detach, pray and trust the process helped greatly. Love the quote from Helen Keller .
Thanks for your service and a Happy Valentine's Day to you as well
Good morning MIP - Happy Valentine's Day to one and all - thank you for the ESH and shares above me. Thank you skorpi for the daily and your service.
I can't say where it came from but my brain told me I had to have all the answers and solve problems 'fast' - delays in responding, reacting, resolving would indications of a slower mind or lack of intelligence. As with so many things, operating with this false premise, I reacted quickly, without thought and most importantly without consideration of others or any level of spiritual support.
Recovery suggested I pause and consider my response to stimulus. This includes people, places, things, situations, events and more. Today, I am more likely than not to pause long enough to ask my HP what's the best response. I have no issue today asking others to give me space/time to consider the situation and I am 100% OK with being perceived by others as imperfect as it's authentic.
Taking time to 'stop and smell the roses' on the way to 'life events' surely helps keep me content or closer than ever before. I too am grateful for what the day may bring and believe recovery has given me a new attitude and approach to what life really is all about! The little people are coming to my house for a Valentine's dinner as well as my youngest son. My oldest stopped by yesterday to prep. his roses for his baby momma. I got a lovely hug from him and it felt good. I am grateful that just for today, both appear to be sober, and this for me is one of a million daily miracles gifted from this program.
Make it a great day all and Happy Hump Day too! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for this post, Skorpi. A good reminder to be sure!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
