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i keep seeing people post about having a sponsor. what is the purpose? i feel like if i had a sponsor i would just drag them down with me. i guess i just don't understand it.
A sponsor is someone who has much experience in the program. I would think I good sponsor knows what is their business and what is your business and wouldn't get dragged down because they understand that they are powerless over you and your actions.
You call your sponsor to get help working the steps, or you can call your sponsor when your having a crisis and you want to get a level headed, outside, program perspective.
When your working step 4, your sponsor is someone who you will not judge you, no matter what is in your inventory or your defects.
I don't have one yet, and I'm sure people here can explain more but those are things I think of.
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Hello, flintfeet, Good question about sponsorship. Having a sponsor to guide you through the Steps is really one of the basics of really working your program. A sponsor is another person in Alanon who has also worked the steps, will listen to you, be honest with you, and guide you in your program. You find a sponsor by going to a meeting and asking someone whose program you value. Don't be offended or take it personally if someone says no to you when you ask. Sometimes people don't think they are ready and sometimes they don't have the time. In Alanon we learn to keep trying to find a sponsor until we get the one we want. Your worrying about pulling someone down with you is just another part of our disease - as if we can control how someone else will react! The sponsor will be there to guide you. Also, sometimes our shame - which is also part of the disease - keeps us from wanting to look someone else in the eye and tell them what is really going on with us. When you are ready, you will find a sponsor. The Program is not just about letting out our bad experiences, it's about working the steps, which help you to love yourself and to change, to let go. This all comes from my experience in Alanon in years of meetings and working with 2 very good sponsors. Blessings and good luck to you. We are all glad you are here. mebjk
((((flintfirst))))) Sounds like your not ready to e v e n think about a sponsor YET. AND THATS OK. just take a breathe. start at the beginning. first things first. you will know when your ready for a sponsor. Some find that as they get to step 4 they are ready to find someone to help them work the steps. Someone that has worked the steps and applies it to their everyday life. Someone that is willing to help you work them.
You will understand more clearly once you decide step#1) you are powerless over alcohol.. your life has become unmanageable AND step#2) believe there is a power greater.. than yourself that can help you restore your sanity. #3)your ready to turn your will over to a power greater than yourself.... for help..... for inner (your inner self really is your spiritual self) guidance.
*** Slogans are good. NO...they're great! Learn them. Say them when you feel tense. When your angry, when your feeling tested. Same with the Serenity Prayer. Learn it....say it..... whenever you can. Anywhere. Anytime. As you lay down to sleep... let it be your sheep....... IT will help you relax..... it is a wonderful tool. It will also help you remember,. that you can not control every thing.....That your not supposed to. LOL. Say the slogans.... Say the Serenity prayer. In your head. over and over and let it sink in, give it time to sink i n t o You.
PLEASE, please... please try to make as many face to face meetings as you can for the next 6 weeks. The reason I say this is that its only going to help you relax. Help you get to know the program better. (i will help you locate meeting places near you... if you need any assistance.) This website can help with that too. The meeitng houses have literature there for you to read also. Books are available from this website. If you will PM (private message me ).. i can help you with books too, if you would like me too. just click on my nickname and then choose private message. let me know what you'd like to read more about.
Flint, you just need to give yourself some time. Give yourself time to get comfortable with the program, how it works, how all us... even though we dont know you already love and care about You! (we care about you as a person, a human being. a loving spiritual body. )
That you are reaching out for help. That means sooo much!! All of us are here to help You. Many of us are here... to talk to, to share with and to listen. Posting on this board is great way to reach out. Visit the chat room, we have meetings there 2 x a day too. Meetings online are held much like face to face meetings. in the meetings you can witness much and learn that most of all, you are not alone. Alot of us are like you. alot of our situations are like yours. The experience strength and hope(es&h) within the walls of the chatroom and here on the boards will show you just how much you are not alone. ((()))
As you grow with the Steps as your Guide, you will become more comfortable... more sure and more able to relax ((within.))) You will know when your ready for a sponsor. ...ready for outside (another human being)assistance, for (a support system) Guidance.
Right now....? **** Work it BECAUSE You ARE Worth iT! ****
Someone that accepts u for what u are ,Believes in u, Keeps in touch with u, Doesn’t give up on u, Doesn’t judge u, Someone that helps u look at ur self, loves u no matter what, Doesn’t try to run your life
Make a difference in your life and help u see your mistakes
Offers support by Listening and supporting u
Says nice things to u about ur self
Honest with u, Understand u, Values you
Walk with u through all ur good and bad times
the best thing you can do is stick around a bit, listen in meetings and find someone you can relate too someone who's program you can respect
be selective its important someone who has the kinda program you want works the steps
HERE
Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.
-- Edited by nycbt at 10:19, 2006-04-01
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
just take a breathe. start at the beginning. first things first. you will know when your ready for a sponsor. Some find that as they get to step 4 they are ready to find someone to help them work the steps. Someone that has worked the steps and applies it to their everyday life. Someone that is willing to help you work them. 
That means sooo much!! All of us are here to help You. Many of us are here... to talk to, to share with and to listen. Posting on this board is great way to reach out. Visit the chat room, we have meetings there 2 x a day too. Meetings online are held much like face to face meetings. in the meetings you can witness much and learn that most of all, you are not alone. Alot of us are like you. alot of our situations are like yours. The experience strength and hope(es&h) within the walls of the chatroom and here on the boards will show you just how much you are not alone. 
(((
)))