The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a reminder about the sole purpose of Alanon-to help friends and families of alcoholics. Just as the focus for Alanon is to help those affected by alcoholism, we are called to remember that our own focus is about our personal recovery first. There are several sentences in this reading that are a clear and helpful way to remember this:
I cannot give to anyone else something I dont have.
I learn to love myself enough to seek my own healing.
....because God loves me, I express gratitude for this love through service....
When I read these sentences I think of a positive cycle: I seek my own healing and gain tools that I might share with others. I notice what I need and seek it out-I seek out, I heal, I share. I am grateful for this gentle program:)
Good morning Mary! Thank you for your service and I love how todays reading expresses the beauty of the program the support and continual renewal of learning and growing to find a deeper and richer serenity.
I remember coming to Alanon several years ago and my first impression was that it was not for me. It seemed anything but gentle and I could not hear the messages and when I did, I did not understand them. I was frustrated, anxious, and spinning from exposure to the disease without any support.
Over the years I have come to know this program, its miracles, and consistent, reliable support to be heard, to learn a different perspective, to be encouraged to strengthen my relationship with my HP and trust regardless of outcomes. What a gift!!!
Thank you Mary and Bud. When I got here, I had nothing anyone else would want but to keep their distance. Hard fact but so true. I was angry, fearful and did not know how to make it go away. After some hard work on me and more to go in this program, there is no more anger, fear and people are drawn now to the inner joy and peace God has given me by working this program. I can laugh again. I forgot what that was like. Today I have something I can give away. Hard to believe the change is so drastic. I am so grateful for this program and all of you in it!
Thank you Mary for your service and for sharing your thoughts on this powerful page. I never thought that I could love myself enough to put the focus on myself, draw boundaries and seek my own recovery. Thanks to alanon I was given healthy tools that permitted me to do just that and to treat everyone with courtesy and respect without abandoning myself in the process. Have a lovely day
Hi Lisa I use the slogans or the serenity prayer repeated over and over in my mind that works
Here is a poem that includes the slogans
Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa
Slogans in a Poem by Coach Papa
First Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Brings it back to you - They're in recovery, - you are, too - What's to Be will Be - So, Let Go & Let God - Just wait and see - That one Day At A Time - Is more than a phrase - In Al-Anon, - it's the phrase that pays - Think! Listen And Learn - or watch bridges burn - Keep An Open Mind, - Now it's your turn - Is your serenity worth it - Just, Fake It 'Till You Make It! - I am pretty sure, You can - Cause, How - important is it? - In time, you will understand - It's true, we're all different, - But, together we can make it - If you feel that you can't, - Then, once again, fake it - When you let it begin with me - The fog will raise, - the sun will shine - Your eyes will see - Slogans are there - For you to use - Say one every day - So you don't sing the blues - It works when you work it - We say and it's true - We're all here to help - But your recovery is up to you.
Thank you for your service, Mary, and thanks for all ESH above. "I cannot give to anyone else something I don't have." - this is a wonderful thought, right now this reminds me that we first put our own air-mask on, before attempting to help another in any way. This reasonable thought never really occurred to me before Al-Anon. I'm grateful I am learning to take care of myself and accept myself through this program. I find that the better and healthier I feel, the more natural and honest my interactions with people are, and so perhaps I can "give" something away that I've gained, not just through service, but simply by being more comfortable and "healthier" to be around.
Hi, Lisa, welcome to MIP, its great you've found us! In answer to your question, we generally do not offer advice in Al-Anon, instead we share our experience, strength and hope (ESH), so everyone can take whatever seems right and leave the rest. My head used to be constantly filled with negative thoughts, and I still have a strong tendency to look at the dark side of things. Living with an alcoholic, things are often truly bad, so that's what I'd learned to expect, pretty much constantly. As you mention, putting the focus back on ourselves is a very important part of the program, and I can say I struggled with it for months, really, but it was worth the effort. When I just started the program, I started with little things, small acts of self-care, when learning to focus on myself and living one day at a time. Washed my hair, bought myself something delicious, etc. I remember I've read a question regarding this, I think it was on this board: What do I need to do to take care of myself today?
This program works if we work it, but things take time and work to improve (I wish it was all instantaneous! but its not), just as things took time to become worse... If you haven't attended any face to face Al-Anon meetings, I encourage you to attend, and keep coming back here as well!
Thanks to you both, I feel so alone lately, even when people are around. I let thoughts overtake me so much, I can't even sleep at night. I'm rather isolated where I live, so I was hoping that this forum could help me since I can't get to meetings very often. Thanks
Happy Sunday to one and all! Thank you all for your ESH and shares and thank you Mary for your service and the daily.
I too send you a warm welcome Lisa - glad you found us and glad you joined right in!
One Day at a Time is the only way I can roll and function with any level of sanity and serenity. We all know that 'life' happens and this program and all who came before me combined with a power greater than self lead me where I need to go. I'm so grateful that I got the gift of desperation and the willingness to try/practice being different.
I did go to my Sunday meeting this morning and we lost another member to suicide. This just makes me so, so sad. It points me right back to where I started, I only have this one day that matters for nothing else is promised. Make it a great Sunday all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
helps to settle the contents- instead of going in one ear, and out t'other... biggrin... Love that david thanks !
thanks for this thread mary .. last night i went to a meeting and there was a gentleman there whose car broke down .. he walked into aa and was so pleased .. about 6 or 7 gentlemen came to help him .. his car had died .. he mentioned his gratitude for these guys helping him with this situation through service .. and i began to see something i never had .. often through the years i have heard aa members share random about needing to get out of their heads and help others .. and for a long time i never 'really gave that much thought .. last night i began to think of how hurt i had been through the years by the addict .. he really truly hurt me ''too so much .. and for the first time i began to see it as what a beautiful process .. addicts and alcs can't change who they hurt though making an amends does heal .. i began to see it as of course .. an amends for those they've hurt .. helping others .. i found this to truly be an act of love ..
thanks again for this .. (clarifying in alanon we need to go into our heads (not alone) after years of being in others . just saying there is balance in all things but this was a beautiful aware of a higher (deeper) purpose for helping others .. for service (meaningful) ..
-- Edited by MeTwo2 on Saturday 3rd of February 2018 02:59:10 PM
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... nice to wake up to this topic, anyway... thanks Mary... 
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