The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Detaching with love: The writer today tells a humorous example of how she learned to detach with love. At first she felt it was a vague concept, then she detached without the love, and her F2F meeting allowed her to find detachment with love.
Today's Reminder: With my Higher Power's help, I will keep a loving blanket of detachment with me. I will cover my loved ones with it, whether or not they struggle with a disease, keeping in mind that when I am dealing with other human beings, I am dealing with children of God.
Quote from Al-Anon: FamilyTreatment Tool in Alcoholism: Detachment is not isolation, nor should it remain focused on not enabling the sick behavior of the past. Detachment is not a wall; it is a bridge across which the Alanon may begin a new approach to life and relationships generally.
I struggled with finding detachment with love for several years. I did not find it hard to detach. I could do that in a split second by putting a wall up and shutting my feelings down. It took many meetings, doing the steps with a sponsor, etc., to finally be able to be emotionally distant yet with compassion. It's hard to explain exactly how to achieve it, but I think practice is the key. And it's not that I can do it perfectly all the time, but I happily settle for the progress I've made, Lyne
Hello Lyne I agree detachment with love is a challenge. I learned how to detach with indifference easily and was very impressed by the results. I then discovered how to detach with love by embracing the simple principle of treating everyone with courtesy and respect and eliminated gossip and judgement . Working the Steps, I noticed that i am now facing the world in a softer gentler way.Detachment works!!
Thanks for your service
Good morning Lyne and Betty. Thank you for your service!!
I did get amused at the reading for today. I have learned/am learning detachment and yet in it am just learning to put the blanket on my AF slowly.....I sure don't want to pick her up and don't want to get too close while putting the blanket on yet.....I get this visual image of using one of those poles you use to reach things up high........the blanket is on the end of it as I cover her with it. No, it's not a real healthy place yet but, I do have great compassion for her now and am still guarding myself. Onward into the day with working on my "stuff" lol!
Good morning, MIP! Lyne, thank you for your service!
I remember when I started trying to learn detachment from my AW, it was detachment with anger, that I tried not to let show. OF course, my AW was helpful enough to point out that I was doing detachment wrong, lol!
Detachment for me is something I am still working on, years later. I think I get it mostly right when my emotions are not involved to a large degree. When they are, though, it is still hard. I am thankful to AlAnon for the opportunity to keep practicing detachment and progressing toward a more loving and self-protective detachment
I hope you all have a lovely day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning MIP! Thank you all for your shares and ESH. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Detachment felt so uncomfortable and foreign to me when I began recovery. I had to really think hard about it and this helped me see my part in so many things and areas for improvement and change. I truly felt like a fish out of water for a while...
I came to recovery as a black/white thinker and the program, tools, concepts, steps and more have given me shades of gray. I will always have room for improvement and I will also always make mistakes - I am an imperfect human. Yet recovery tells me that even when I struggle, I will be OK.
Detachment for me was the first step in finding my truth, my strength and myself - all lost in the chaos of this disease! I am grateful for the gift of desperation that brought me to recovery, and the pain being great enough to need change!
Happy Monday to one and all - off to grocery shop as we might get some weather later today. I've got dinner plans with softball gal pals, and am planning my spring/summer commitments - golf, softball, college graduation, service - loving my life today!! Be safe to one and all and make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
