The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The post yesterday by rtexas got me thinking about how music can be used to help with detachment. Long before I ever heard of detachment, when my AW was giving me fits, I would, and do, run part of the old Simon and Garfunkle song through my mind.
I am a rock
I am an island
and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries.
That always seems to help me. Anyone else out there have a particular song that that helps them to detach during times of turmoil?
I am more into the songs that express what I am feeling at the time to help release me from the emotions. Kelly Clarkson has one called because of you. The lyrics really hit home with me.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you I stay on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but anyone around me.
Because of you, I am afraid.
Because of you I try my hardest to just forget everything.
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in.
Because of you I am ashamed of my life because it is empty.
Ok - this is just too crazy! I just bought 2 cd's today b/c I needed some uplifting. I use music to sooth my soul. Sometimes I like a little country for when I am feeling blue. But for the uplifting....I love to listen to some boogie music that gets my body movin'.
I listen to EVERYTHING!!!! Today I bought Power Ballads from the 80's & Club 80's. Granted they aren't getting me off my butt to boogie but oh well. I have some Funk cd's for that.
Sometimes in the car I just sing my heart out & dance. My daughter (3y) tells me to stop. I tell her it makes me feel better. Even better is to get a great dance cd going while I am exercising...walking or riding my bike. After 30 min. I feel exhilirated. I can breathe again.
When I'm reaelly having a hard time, I like to listen to music form the 70's and 80's, my teens. The songs are a quick trip to easier times, and make me feel better.
I don't believe in living in the past, but it sure is a nice place to visit sometimes.
Excellent post. I have always found music to be theraputic. So when I read that you were asking for a "detachment" song I was more then happy to get thinking. btw: I happen to love Simon and Garfunkle (nice choice of a song) so I thank you for sharing.
This song takes me way back (way, way back, lol) I recall playing it over and over when my A and I were first having relationship troubles and what it meant to me then. Now fast forward to Al-Anon and reading the lyrics (a friend helped me find them) I see it as even more –perhaps ‘detaching with love’? In any event – I see the song in a whole new light.
Band: Eagles Album: Hotel California Song: Wasted Time
Well baby, there you stand With your little head, down in your hand Oh, my God, you can't believe It's happening again your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end.
And you're back out on the street. And you're tryin' to remember. How will you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much for a stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man.
You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line And I know what's been on your mind You're afraid it's all been wasted time
The autumn leaves have got you thinking about the first time that you fell You didn't love the boy too much, no, no you just loved the boy too well, farewell So you live from day to day, and you dream about tomorrow, oh.
And the hours go by like minutes and the shadows come to stay So you take a little something to make them go away And I could have done so many things, baby If I could only stop my mind from wonderin' what I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time
Ooh, another love has come and gone Ooh, and the years keep rushing on I remember what you told me before you went out on your own: "Sometimes to keep it together, you got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, that it wasn't really wasted time Mm,hm Oh hoo, ooh, ohh, Ooh,ooh, mm
I have that whole cd saved on my work computer & just happen to be listening to it as we speak.
As weird as it is, the Eagles remind me of the boyfriend I had when I was 16, just before I met my husband & started dating him. So when we are having troubles (which is every second of every day now), I listen to the Eagles and it reminds me of how care free I was back then. It makes me think of that guy (wow was he an adorable cutie) and wonder how he is doing these days. Of course through the gossip grape vine I had heard a couple of years ago that he found out he couldn't have kids & needed a heart transplant. So my heart aches for him and I always say an extra prayer his way when listening to the Eagles. He is so young...only 31. I know his dad had heart trouble when we were dating. I reckon he inherited it.
