Newbie online and in general - Al-Anon Family Group

robyn76 · Member

Newbie online and in general

mebjk · Senior Member

Hello, robyn,
We are all very grateful that you are here. You are definitely in the right place to find help for yourself, and your being here helps us with our Program, too. We can relate to your pain, and here we share our experience, strength and hope with each other.
There is information online about Alanon meetings in your area. It's good to find a face to face - in person - meeting, and to look for someone you can talk to who can be your sponsor. Your sponsor helps you through the 12 steps, and they are also working the steps themselves. Working the steps really helps you get focused on you, and learning to take care of yourself, and to set boundaries with the addict in your life. This program is about us, not them.
You have taken a big step to put yourself out here so honestly. Reaching out of your isolation is a big step in your recovery - your program in Alanon.
Keep coming back, it works! If you work it!
Blessings and prayers to you and your family, robyn,
mebjk

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

Well have made the first step, you have realized your life if unmanageable right now. Alanon is the place for you. We learn how to live with addiction and focus on you, not the addict. You cannot care for your beautiful family if you are stressing about him. Many of us were fooled, don't feel alone. Keep coming back. Josey

-- Edited by jrtjosey at 10:07, 2006-03-30

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Robyn. You also learn how to live WITHOUT addiction. The choice is yours, but whatever your path, you must see to yourself and your lovely children first. AlAnon can help. We here on MIP can help. Keep coming back, and get yourself out to local AlAnon meetings.

After reading your post I can see that you are smart and strong. And both smart and strong go a long way in allowing you to rise above.

With caring, Diva

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad you are here Robyn. I sure can feel the pain you are going thru. I fail to relate to what makes you a fool?

Addicts have a horrible disease. They don't choose to get addicted. I don't know if your husband can detox and never do it again, or if he has a lifetime struggle with drugs.

There is no analizing a person who uses drugs.

For me, I protected myself. Had my own home, income, vehicle etc. I did not depend on him for anything. I wanted to enjoy what I could in him.

I am not sure what you are thinking. "Help piecing me back together."

Are you staying with A? What is IO treatment?

Just focusing on you, I would do what you feel. If you feel like taking a nap, do. This whole thing is a great loss. So many losses. trust, security, faith, love and more. Treat yourself very tenderly.

Remember he is very sick. It is ok to be mad at the disease, the addiction. But if you can detach him from that. He is still a human being who got caught by a very powerful drug.

It will be easier for you to heal if you can forgive him. It is normal for you to feel so shocked and hurt. I remember when my sober for years A smelled like alcohol. I was in denial. I felt so mixed up. It was too horrible to believe.

I hope you can get love from friends and family. Make sure you do fun things with the kids, think anti stressors. Things never stay the same, they can get better. Just allow yourself lots of time and patience.

keep coming back. love,debilyn

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website – WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Phone number is 1-888-425-2666

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help

holly123 · Senior Member

Welcome Robyn.

Glad you are here, there is a lot of good experience and shares on this board. Keep coming back and find some local meetings.

Just know that there are a lot of people here, we don't give advice, atleast we try not to sometimes its hard to restrain ourselves but we do give our experiences and it really helps.

(((((HUGS)))))

Holly

Powerless · Senior Member

Robyn,

Welcome. You are in the right place and we are glad to have you. Turning the drugs over to the police was a very brave thing to do. I had to do that to my husband several months ago and I know it is very difficult. You are right to not be hard on yourself. Keep coming back and learning as much about addiction as you can. Again, Welcome!

robyn76 · Member

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. You have all helped me in some way! I've been working a lot so I will post more when I get a moment. Robyn

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.