The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am really working to change my attitude from poor me to taking care of me after doing some work in this room and listening to shares. I know my attitude can pervade everything. I am trying to be open and wiling in my job search (which is hard because I have had a number of set backs). I am trying not to live daily in fear and trepidation and impending doom. I am also trying not to catastrophize everything. I can make it all into a catastrophe or an impending catastrophe.
I dreaded this week because I thought workmen would be working on the shed in the back. The weather put a delay on that. Normally I would just be in dread of the impending work because I know the A will make some crisis around it. I also know quite categorically that the landlord will probably pull another crisis. I am willing these days to roll with that rather than resent, stew and rile over it. I have to work on accepting and dealing with my situation and work on making better choices and more better choices. I can leak so much energy and attention that I need to move on in my life to other goals, to other dreams. I have let all my dreams go awol since I took up with the A. Of course I had a penchant for doing that before. I have detoured many of my dreams. The does not detour his dreams. He keeps on them. I do that all the time.
So this week the only thing that changed was my management of my fear (which is ever present in everything I do and in every single relationship most notably with my hp) and my attitude. Nothing has changed but I feel I can move with that simple measure.
My A would always be double upset if she was upset and I was not. (I used to be able to do that years ago) I would tell her, I am not ignoring what makes you mad, but you have a choice how you react to it.
I had a real bad anger management problem when I was young. This is how I dealt with it. You can't be mad at someone for chasing you... if you don't run.
After 6 years of growing Aism, I forgot how to do it myself. You guys have been reminding me!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Why is it that we are the ones that have to change our attitudes and fears? I know this is what we must do, but sometimes i just want to have a bad attitude I want to pout I want to explode and blow everything way out of proportion!!!
Good for you for changing your attitude! Small steps right!!!???? Good for you
This was essentially the topic of the al anon mtg I went to today: fear and courage. I see courage as a part of my changing my attitude, especially as it relates to me being able to get past a certain kind of fear that paralyzes me. I am going through a rough spot -- have gone through worse, and so I'll get through it, a half hour at a time, perhaps. -- and when I'm feeling overcome by fear, sometimes it is a signal to me that I need to bouy up my program, especially the spiritual side -- my hearing that again at today's meeting was a real gift.
The topic today included what al anons do through our choices to land where we are -- and learning from that. That is a big topic for me, and while daunting, I actually find it gives me hope for the future. God, grant me the serenity, courage and wisdom to make good choices!
I'll be thinking of you and sending you only the very best thoughts. Pat yourself on the back for seeing what your attitude is and what you want it to be. That's a great direction to be heading in. Good luck.
((((mare)))) i love that your getting stronger and stronger every day with your conviction to working the program. Of your choices of living with the program as a guide for You. thats a blessing in itself. gives me Hope (personally / within myself too.) that your seeing it. seeing it work. letting others know. gives me more Hope, for my own recovery. stronger conviction for my own choices.
We are all learning each day. Behaviour and attitude... truly are a learned/ learning process. Makes things a bit easier as we take another step (even if its just a baby step..a small measure. ) Progression not projection. Excellent. I I am very grateful for your es&h.
Progress Not Projection. One Day at a Time Let it Go and Let God.
Your posts the last few days have really helped me to open my eyes on areas I could improve upon. Thanks so much for taking the time to share. I'm so happy to hear your words of strength and care for yourself.
I know now that I will always have to practice the art of hearing someone else's crisis without feeling I need to fix it. Or at least not acting on that need.
Thanks for your shares. I always get something from them. One thing I am working on in regards to my fear - which is a pretty common thing for me - is to accept my fear when it comes. That's not easy! But I am learning that acceptance of me and my own reactions is part of my growing in the Program, too. And something I have really learned through acceptance is that acceptance is the most powerful force there is!
