The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know my HP knows best. Sometimes stuff can get pretty tough though and I think he thinks I can handle more than I can. I handle because I have no choice!
What's this about you ask? My best friend thinks she is pregnant. She isn't sure if she is ready for that and is very scared. I am more excited about it than she is at this point, but inside I am also hurting. I'm afraid she might start feeling guilty if the pregnancy turns out to be true. After miscarriage #7 for me I have gotten back on the pill and have tried to accept the fact I am done. Not because I want to be (not that I would be acting responsibly to bring a child into the home that is so chaotic with alcoholism and addiction) but because I just don't see another way--except expensive and we all know money isn't a luxury that many of us have!!!!!!!
Anyway I am excited for her, but I am sad too. I loved being pregnant. I love babies and taking care of them and watching them learn and grow. I just feel like that was something I was good at. I miss it very much!
Now my HP has me sitting around watching my best friend go though this. I hope I can be a great friend and not let me feel sorry for myself!!! I'm becoming stronger right?
Just the fact that you asked, makes me believe you are getting stronger.
Have you thought of sharing the pregnancy and baby? She really may need a co-parent and not be so scared if you are a big part of it. I would LOVE that. I too am like you and love the pgness and babies and kids and teens.
I see you posting a lot, that shows me you are growing and willing to share and help others. Plus it shows your strengths.
I know you will cont. to do well.
Feel for you about the dang miscarriages I had four. kills ya.
Hp does not bring the bad stuff hon, it is the other evil guy.
I'm sorry for the pain you have been in. I can not imagine it. I have not been on birth control for 8 years, wanting a child and knowing as you stated that my home is not the ideal place to bring one into. Every month at that time I cry, sometimes I am not sure if it is relief or grief. I leave it in HPs hands and try to accept that it may not happen for me.
I hope with communicating and sharing the joys and hurts of your friend being pregnant, you can both form an even stronger friendship. I've been in that situation and sometimes it can sting my heart. I try to remember that I get to enjoy the fun parts of a baby and still get to sleep this way. The pain is there, but joy is too.
Wishing you all the best, and sending lots of hugs,
