The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about what sponsorship can do for us in recovery. There is a profound line from this reading that hit me hard: "While the alcoholic picked up a drink and became drunk on alcohol, I picked up the alcoholic and became drunk on control and approval-seeking." My oh my is that me!!
Like the writer, my work with a sponsor began with small steps and very gently-- as we became more comfortable with one another I was able to share more of who I am (becoming) and I also could relate to how the writer described borrowing from her sponsor (faith, connection w HP) until I felt some of those connections on my own. The last line is also a very strong one: "It all happened because I took the risk to love myself enough to ask for help."
I am a work in progress-- and am grateful for the tools of the program and the sponsor I have been fortunate enough to get to know and work with over the past few years.
PS. I had a lot of fun running with my kids this morning! Beautiful race near the ocean in RI.
Thanks for your service and esh, Mary. "drunk on control and approval-seeking" - yep, that's about me as well. While I've gotten much better at not controlling, approval-seeking (validation?) is a hot topic for me, as especially during this week I've become much more aware of my nearly constant need to gain approval of my actions by others. I'm doing the 4th step, and this has become painfully evident. I often simply don't trust my own judgment, and seek validation from others so they can tell me what I'm doing is right, good, etc. Sigh. Its good that I'm aware of this now, I'm grateful :) More work to be done, but I know it is worth it.
Yay Mary - way to go on the run!!!! So glad you had a great time! I truly would not be where I am had I not gotten a sponsor and gotten honest with her. She now knows me in ways that I can't even 'see' especially when I am dealing with chaos. She never tells me what to do but is very kind in helping me process through whatever is happening with me - good and bad.
Having another perspective for my deepest darkest fears, secrets, etc. has been so freeing. Even though I doubted the necessity of a sponsor, I am grateful I loved me enough to get one and use her...
Off to play more ball - it's been a lovely day so far....got my eye on Irma though - prayers for all affected!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great news Mary Glad that you enjoyed the run. Learning how to trust another was a great gift of sponsorship . I coud never reel my deepest fears and be vunerable before program.
I love how alanon suggests that in this fellowship of equals, that the sponsor gains as much as the spnosee with each interaction. Being both a sponsor and sponsee, I know this to be true.
Thanks for your service