The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love this reading apparently because it's highlighted in about 3 different colors .. lol.
The statement that I love the most is:
What am I doing with what I've got? Instead of crying over what I don't have, and wishing my life were different.
I think that this goes into for me the A, boss, kids, whatever fill in the blank is going to do what they are going to do my choice is how I respond. I can be positive, transparent and fully present, or I can hide, wallow and lick my wounds as I firmly seat myself on the martyr thrown and cast upon my subjects my great misery.
Pre-Alanon it was all about me .. all about what I didn't have and all about how bad things were .. end of story .. I sang the hims .. if him didn't drink then my life would be sooo much better and honestly it doesn't matter if he did or didn't .. I didn't know how to respond to life differently. It's very difficult not to get stuck in the if only's of if only I had more money .. if only I were younger .. if only .. lol ..
In alanon I really learned what that meant personal responsibility, I had to make my life as it was the best for the kids and I that I could I think that other wake up call was .. it's not just about me. I wasn't the only one who was miserable .. I wasn't the only one who was suffering through all of these different things. I was so busy having knee jerk reactions that I neglected being able to look at the bigger picture and see what additional options and choices I actually had. Let's not get into seeing someone else's pain .. even the alcoholics .. which sorry to say still working on that one .. I still don't like or respect him .. I am more aware of how much pain he was in and how he had even less of an idea of how to cope with it than I did .. I can see how truly sick he actually is still.
Am I grateful for what blessings I do have. Do my kids understand that through the difficulties we are still very blessed and there is always something to smile and laugh about. As scary as living can be am I choosing to hide from life instead of living in the present. I really think that living the book mark of Just for Today helps remind me that these things need to be brought to the front of everything on a daily basis. Just for today .. I will be the best person I can be today. Life really is that simple in that regard. It is ME that brings drama and chaos to my life if that's what I choose.
I am grateful for that because it's truly exhausting being a miserable person. Today I can bring my best foot forward even if I stumble through my day .. I'm doing the best I can.
Thanks,
S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Great Share and topic Serenity. I do appreciate how alanon has taught me to stay in the moment and in the day, focused on myself and appreciating the goodness, joy and beauty in each interaction and experience.
Have a great day-- I do appreciate your service.
Thank you Serenity for the daily and your service. I too am very different than before recovery. I too was stuck focused on what was broken and what I didn't have that I felt I deserved. Boy howdy - my distorted thinking and poor me attitude would have made a great country/western song!
Practicing the principles of our program, I instead try to be grateful for what I do have. I try to be present and be part of life and the positive instead of as I was before. I stopped blaming others and the disease for my moods and placement and took charge of both. It's much easier to find peace when I am looking for it in me with HP than expecting others to 'complete me'.
I appreciate your ESH Betty and Serenity - hope Sunday is good in your world! 2 softball games complete, a nap, a Royal's win and headed out for 2 more games in a few. Fall season has started with a 'bang'...I'll be 'resting' tomorrow! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
