The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me or adding to ones that I have?. Am I trying to fix everything by finding fault with somebody else?
in Al-Anon we are encouraged to examined our impulses, motives, actions and words. Because this can help us to correct what is causing our unease without blaming it on others
The reading then goes on to say that in the beginning this idea is not acceptable, we feel we have been dealing very well with an insane situation and our behavior has been perfect in comparison . The reading states. This may be so, but in order to overcome the habit of justifying everything we must make use of the tools of courtesy, tenderness and respect for others. When we do this miracles do happen
The quote is from Thomas a Kempis; "if you cannot make yourself what you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes? We want to see others perfect, yet our own false go unattended."
I know prior to Al-Anon I did not have the tools in order to.. honestly look within, examine my motives and own my part in situations. Only after working the steps with a sponsor, especially 4 through 11, was I able to let go of the negative tools of denial and pretend which I lived with my entire life . How grateful I am to be able to own my behavior and become willing to let go and see them replaced with compassion, wisdom, understanding and love
I will be eternally grateful to alanon for these gifts
Thomas A Kempis became one of my favorite philosophers when I got into the AFG because the program suggested I keep an open mind and I needed one to read his stuff and understand. I found him very Al-Anonish. (((hugs)))
Good morning-I relate to this reading and especially the words you chose Betty, "denial and pretend." But I had no idea I was in denial and pretend mode. Those are deep defense mechanisms and hard to break. It is so much easier to see the flaws in others and waste time hoping they will change. I have needed to change myself and thanks to Alanon I can now "see" what I need to do. The steps helped a lot. I don't ever want to fall back into denial about anything. Hopefully working my program will keep me honest about myself. Thanks for this reading and share, Lyne
I came here also looking beyond me for the cause, effect and answers. I too was in tons of denial about my part in any of this as well as how the disease had affected me indirectly. I am grateful that working the program brought about some sanity, more clarity and removed the boulders blocking my eyes so I could see the path in front of me differently.
I've had a busy couple of days and that's not a bad thing....yet it's tiring!! Little people, my own boys - I enjoy spending time with family yet it is just so tiring! Hope everyone is enjoying a lovely weekend!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your service, Betty, and the ESH above. "Am I trying to fix everything by finding fault with somebody else?" - this rings so true for me, and I'm working on this. The old way seemed the only "logical" one to me before Alanon, now that I can look at this warped thinking of mine, I see I used to be just as sick as an alcoholic. I'm so very grateful that Alanon gives me new tools, that I can begin to finally take ownership of my life as an individual. Blaming my unhappiness on things outside myself is the easy way, yet it brought me only misery in the end.
