The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author shares their sponsor's suggestion to a low day - making a list of all things that made them unhappy - and the sponsor's suggestion to a good day - making a gratitude list. When the author compared both lists, they found that the lists were almost identical. The people, places, and things had not changed from one day to another, but the author's view of them had. The author sums up the experience by sharing that "my attitude dictates the way I experience the world."
I found this reading to be a powerful one, especially as I deal with a few challenging situations. The situations themselves, I think, don't need to be challenging. They are what they are. It is my thoughts about them and my reactions to them that make things challenging. Today, I am going to put first things first, and focus on the things I can change. No need to get bogged down in the could-have, should-have, would-have thought cycle.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
"Change your thoughts and you change your world" Normal Vincent Peale
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi I agree "Changed attitudes "do aid recovery. I often read that Norman Vincent Peale quote , believed it, but did not have the constructive tools to implement the change. Learning how to use the tools of Alanon : living one day at a time, placing first things first, trusting HP without, judging ,gossip or blame helped me to remain detached,with wisdom, courage, compassion and empathy without my negative ego driven defects causing confusion and havoc. Attitudes did change as a result.
Thank you Skorpi for the daily and for your service. Thank you both for your ESH above me....I'm also doing the head nod - changing my attitude certainly aided my recovery. Had I not, I believe I would still be stuck in the victim, martyr, woe is me role that I adopted for so very, very long.
I love when Jerry suggests we consider the consequences we want/need and then take the action that aligns with it. If I want peace and serenity in me, I need to modify my thoughts, attitudes and actions to reflect that. If I want to keep moving forward, one day at a time, I need to use the past to learn and not as an excuse for my behaviors/patterns/etc.
I love that quote - it's so, so true. I am reminded of a song from church from my youth many years ago - Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me. We do not have the ability to change people, places or things but we do have the ability to be the best version of self and that's all that this life is about!
Make it a great day - cleaning around here for a little people sleep over and got my weekly meeting. Softball late games and with the milder weather we are having, I may need long sleeves tonight....so strange to have such mild weather in my world in August, but I'll take it!!
(((Hugs))) to all - grateful you're part of my journey!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Skorpi- thank you - this is so helpful to keep my focus on what will serve me the best and strengthen my relationship with my HP. Betty's and Iamhere's share also hit home and I am grateful!
Hey Westman - that's OK too......I suspect even with the author, there may have been some differences. I did find that often the only thing different in my small piece of the world is me and recovery. Yet, the house, the family, etc. is so much more calm - it's a strange correlation that I can't possibly explain!
Example - my oldest came by last night....I made us all food and we were dining casually while watching TV. Well - there was an update on the News I wanted to hear and he & my AH were having a discussion that got more animated - not bad - just louder than it had been.
I paused the TV and they both stopped and looked at me. My oldest says, "What - now dad & I can't have a conversation?" My AH did not say a word - we live together and he knows I don't have any hidden agendas or secret motives any more....
I looked at my son, and calmly said, "I paused the TV so I could hear this news report. I'll watch/listen when you all are finished." They looked at each other and remained silent. I sat calmly until they finished, parted ways and then I did what I wanted to do.
In the past, I may have paused the TV - HOWEVER - it would have been joined with either eye-rolls, facial expressions and/or some heavy-handed words about how rude they were to have a loud conversation when I was watching the news!!!
All that changed was/is me!! Great question - hope others might answer too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I heard words like "pull your socks up". A a kid my mum used to say- "chin up, chicken". I am deeply grateful for this memory.
Having said that- I was mired confused and depressed for years. I was never actually homeless- but was very close and many of my friends were. I was actually sent out of the city to work on a railway gang. That did give me a bit of a start-up
Snap out of it. Hey- it does roll off the lips.
In recent years I managed to get some additional help- it arose out of Alanon- and I had to take initiative to create this opportunity for myself and others. Working with others in invaluable.
I had a lot of dreams and potential as a kid- all of my family had. My mum went to Alanon briefly... but I stuck at it... and intend to be a lifetime member.
Being a member gives me the back-up and support I need. Was not really available when ah were a kid.
Better late than never!
And yes, Skorpi... ...ah do believe i covered that checklist as ah shared. Thanks.
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Thanks.