The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
With a heavy heart, I share that one of my gal pals who attends our Saturday morning meeting opted out of the meeting this past Saturday, and instead ended her life. We are shocked and grieving as she was a lovely spirit and a gentle soul.
I ask that any who feel compelled to pray for those suffering with this disease, directly or indirectly. This is not the first I have known who felt they could no longer drink, and could not live without the option. May God have mercy on her soul and bring peace in grieving for her family.
I am blessed to have known her and realize deeply that no matter how much we think we know and love another, we rarely know the demons they are dealing with...
Thanks for listening!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((IAH))) I am so sorry to read of the loss of your friend . Sending prayers for your peace and that your friend has found peace at last. This is indeed a dreadful disease.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:51:22 AM
Dearest Sister...I hold you to my heart and your friend to my spirit asking my Higher Power to help her feel our compassion and empathy. Alcoholic death is a gentle walk as it anesthetizes our pain while taking us away from our journey. I remember hearing only the voice of my HP during that hour and it was gentle and caring. I will offer my prayer to HP for her and for you and for all of us demeaned by our disease. (((((hugs)))))
I am so very sorry for your loss. My warmest thoughts and wishes go out to you, and all of her friends, and your friends who knew her. Some of us here have lost friends from program -- and they are special friends -- so we certainly have felt what you are feeling. Your attitude sounds good, it sounds healthy. I absolutely admire and respect that you are feeling and able to look at positive, good things -- feeling blessed to have known her, having compassion for her and her family, and grieving the loss of a friend.
Thank you, and I wish you all the best, for health and happiness.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Oh I am so sorry to hear this. This disease angers and saddens me at every turn. Will be praying for you and those who are mourning the loss of her life. HUGS my friend.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your cherished friend and meeting member. Sending prayers for her and to all who loved her. I wish you peace and healing. (((iamhere))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you all...I am still sad but very distracted....we had epic record setting flooding again last night (twice in 1.5 months) so I have a wet basement at my rental home. I have added mad to my emotions as my AH (for an unknown, but I am sure smart at the time) disconnected the sub pump outside pipe from the french drain. What this means is when I arrived to see if there was water in the basement, there was a small pond/lake between my home and the 89 year old widow's home....***sigh***
I had to reconnect the piping while it was running so looked like a drowned rat after! And yes - there is water in the basement, however I believe it's from this 'oopsie' as that wall is still wet. I am not for sure where it came in and it really doesn't matter but I had done some work to waterproof it and don't yet know if it's effective because of this mishap.
Thank goodness for the program - a part of me truly wanted to drive back to my house and just slap the crud right out of him. Yet, I know that EVEN THOUGH I AM ANGRY, it's already in the past and nothing I say/do/think will change it.
I am grateful to be resourceful enough to pump out water, dry out the basement and remove wet drywall. I am grateful to be calm enough to take action instead of reacting. And, I am grateful to have a distraction from the loss of my friend. I am wondering what in the world my HP wants me to learn but remain open....even though I am sad and angry.
Life happens - it's what I do that helps me to see where I am in my recovery. (((Hugs))) to all - I truly appreciate the prayers and support.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
iamhere - sending you support, and I lift prayers to the heavens for your friend. This is truly a devastating disease.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Part of your decision making maybe the awareness that if you slap the crud out of him you will also find the need to clean that up also along with the flood water. Damned if you do and double Damned if you don't. Choices, Choices, Choices....((((hugs))))
Thanks all - I truly appreciate the support....I must admit Jerry - I got a chuckle because you are so spot on. I have truly had a long spell of serenity and then the suicide made me really sad. And then the mishap with the sub pump draining made me really want to rage. I had to push the pause button and have a quick conversation with my HP.
Basement is drying and I am extremely tired. Grateful I have the freedom to relax and just be this evening...(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I thank all for the support. The news is reporting more than 160 water rescues today and one person lost their life...I am fortunate that we just had some flooding in the yard and water in the basement. Grateful to be heading to bed shortly. Stay safe to the East - it's heading that way next...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
The crazy blessing about something like a flooded basement is that it certainly keeps you in the present! You have to deal with the emergency and wipe other issues out of your mind. Is there any chance that this worked?
(((Hugs))) Beth - yes....it did work! I truly had to accept the day for what it was and it did keep me mindful of what is vs. what is not!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am so sorry for your loss and that of your recovery families loss. It truly is a cunning, powerful and baffling disease. There is nothing about it that makes any kind of sense.
Hugs S
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:51:42 AM
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks girl....we did discuss it Saturday and collectively prayed that she's free now from that which haunted her here on Earth...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((David))) - truer words were never spoken my friend....
I will say that I had to have a discussion with my sponsor. I searched high/low for an obituary as I wanted to pay my respects. I finally found one - it was a one liner with a photo that had to be 25+ years old....no mention of family, present or past - just a basic sentence that said she had passed away on a Saturday in August of this year. No service. No write-up. Nothing.
I had an instant resentment for the family ASSuming they were ashamed because of her struggles, her disease, etc. Of course, my sponsor suggested I really didn't know them or was not inside their head and they may be more shocked than us which led them to announce what they could and that's what they did.
So grateful for recovery, sponsors and the gift of calm when I am in need...We will miss her dearly and her legacy will live on in our hearts/group!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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