The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Live your own life: Today's reading speaks about learning to stop focusing on others, and living in our life. We can accomplish this by practicing detachment, stop minding everyone else's business, developing awareness about ourselves, and learning to love ourselves.
Searching for the real "me," and paying attention to my needs, will allow me to see myself as a new found friend.
Today's Reminder: Today I can choose to take responsibility for my own life. If I stay out of others' affairs and become more aware of my own, I have a good chance of finding some serenity.
Quote by Hermann Hesse: Each man's life represents a road toward himself .
When I came to Alanon a few years ago, my only goal was to fix my A. I knew I felt horrible, but my goal was fixing someone else. Looking back I can see how silly my goal was, but I didn't know a different way. The Steps, the readings, my sponsor, the board, and meetings, are teaching me how to switch directions. It is I who need fixing, and I am the only one I can change. In practicing over time, I am becoming a person I can love. Progress not perfection! Lyne
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily! I too came to fix others so you're not alone! I was a bit frustrated when I was told to focus on me - in my own insanity, I figured I was the sanest in the family. I came to accept that was not true - I had work to do and looking outside of self was not serving me well at all.
When I began to see that I could be happy no matter what others were/were not doing, it was a freedom I wasn't aware existed. When I looked at my past as a learning tool instead of as the blame game, it helped me 'see' who I became and what I could become. When I stopped focusing on what others were doing (to me...ha!) and not doing and put my focus and energy on me and my recovery, I too became a person I could love.
Life happens to/for all of us each day. I am very grateful for the tools we are taught in recovery that allows us to face it, deal with it and keep moving forward. I was so stuck that I didn't even know how stuck I was. So grateful I am not any longer!
Enjoy your Monday! I am excited for the eclipse - we are in the path.....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
The A. in my life- I never tried to change him. At the same time time he never made promises to change. We lived in a community where his habits were the norm for a sizable group of people.
As a child I grew up expecting this norm to be the same for me. My parents joked about going 'to Sunday School'. It was an illegal drinking school. I grew up thinking that was a part of the deal. But half-way down to the pub was a church. I joined this one- a dusty rural church. I loved the singing. One of the elders was my friend's mother. They offered me part time work at harvesting. I got to stay at their place. I heard the mum and dad go to bed and then the mm and dad would talk for a while before going to sleep... I learned that that was how a family was supposed to be.
As i inched my way through the steps I had to separate the defects of my parents and the world from parts of my own personality. My foreman in the carrot paddocks was the local cop. He got his beer and whiskey for nothing- I was in his car when he did that. I was about 12 or 13.
So I have major anger and distrust. As i grew up I was no longer the goody-two-shoes who was the kid. I made a lot of trouble and errors... ...I was guided by my own experience which was limited in many ways. But I had hope- and a dream to do better...
...so my daily practise now, is to fix the things ah can... getting a little better at it day by day...
Thank you for your service, Lyne, and all the ESH above. Such a big topic. As I get to know myself better, I see that this attitude - "looking" around what others might make of me at any given time and trying to act accordingly to what I imagine I should act like - its really ingrained in me... I have to watch out for this all the time, I'm getting a little bit better, but still there's a lot of this stuff sneaking into my thoughts. A lot of work to do. Happy Monday all
Great Topic Lyne Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Love the quote that indicates that our life represents a journey toward ourselves ,
Being able to keep the focus on myself, examine my motives and let go of my numerous defects of judgment, blame and gossip has helped me to discover myself. I have uncovered what I do to hurt myself and learned how to successfully express the good that is underneath . I am so grateful for this program.
thank you for the topic Lyne. This is huge and I'm working on detachment and keeping the focus on myself. Simple but not easy, but so worth the effort... one minute at a time.
Thank you, Lyne! I love the end quote and I am working hard at finding the road to ME! I feel as though I have traveled everyone else's path.....dragging them along, telling them how to walk, where to look and what to avoid! I need to get back to my own journey. It's exciting......but gee, I was much more confident running others' lives!
Happy solar eclipse day! We got to see the partial eclipse here in western New York State.
D.