The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T reading for August 19 speaks about attitudes. The reading points out that our attitudes toward another, drunk or not has a huge influence on our relationships. . It points out that with our habits of blaming, judging and showing contempt for their actions such as their neglect of obligations our negative attitudes.permeates the atmosphere. If we do this then we are responsible for the consequences of these negative attitudes .
If we tend to have a understanding, compassion this will be indicated in our behavior as we can show kindness and gentleness. Instead. We need never forget that everyone has their faults and each person is a child of God and to respect and consideration.. I know that I implemented this when dealing with my son's huge relapse When I was selling his house after his passing a perspective buyer sent me a lovely letter asking that I really consider her offer as she felt the love and compassion in every room of the house and it felt right. I still have that letter and needless to say she bought the house
The quote:suggests that we cannot destroy another without inflicting great damage on ourselves.
Thank you Betty for your service and the daily! Thank you and Bud for your shares and ESH. I treasure that story about the 'home' you readied for market after your son passed. I also need to be reminded often how genuinely loving and compassionate you were able to be towards your son when he was battling this darn disease. I am having a 'moment in my day' where I genuine am HATING the disease and if I were able, I would be beating/kicking it.....yet - I love my son who's clearly not having a good day with the disease...
It is in Al-Anon that I've learned to hate the disease but unconditionally love those with it. I admit there is a part of me deep down (today) that wishes our recovery allowed us to smack the drinker and/or shut them out of our lives!!! However, I know that when I am pointing at others for the source of my own pain, I truly need to pause long enough to truly consider where I can make changes - me....through the tools of our program.
I am planning to spend the balance of my day being gentle with me.....one verbal battle with a diseased son + practicing the pause big time today has worn me out!!! Make it a great day all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
