The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I let my A join us for state wrestling, since he was such a big part of it all year. He was up and down the whole time. Flipping out on kids sitting quietly at computer in room when rest were running in hallways of motel. What was I suppose to do yell at them for being the good ones? I was so imbarrassed, his language was horrible around the boys' friends. Then we got home and all hell broke loose. He saw HIS credit card bill and is saying there is no way he spent that much. I don't even have a card. This after I paid for everything over the weekend for all of us!! He threatened that my day is coming, so I don't see a one lawyer thing happening now. He called me a crook and an embezzler. We have equal net incomes going into joint account. He is pissed because I have been able to save from my part time work. Save has never been in his vocabulary.
He does all this spewing of filth in front of my kids, so please keep us in your prayers. I'll try to keep you posted, don't know what this week will bring. Other than I need to get out!!
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I am so sorry for this horrible experience. I pray for strength and courage for you and the boys. Are they okay? Have they talked about what happened? Everything will work out. Keep in mind that he is scared because he won't have you around to fix things for him and he won't have you around to blame any more. That may be scary to him because eventually he will have to realize no one else is causing the problems in his life. We are here for you.
Sorry about your weekend. A few weeks ago, I told my friend I don't even know why I am so ready for the weekends to come. They never go as I would like and normally that's when big disappointments or arguements happen with my a.
I hope the boys are o.k. Just try to keep taking care of you. Good luck.
I am praying and in much hope that you are able to come to terms with facts of your A's disease. That you are doing healthy things, finding healthy ways to detach for You and your boys, your children, when he's not himself.
The children (((your boys,))) understand more of this terrible affect of alcoholism (the isms) than you think they do. They are so wonderous! They love you and they love their daddy. IF ( You Can) you can keep the daily situations as healthy /loving as possible they will feel the comfort in this.They also understand when things are not ok... that THAT too shall pass.
I knew my mom loved me. Told me all the time. I loved / love Mom even more for keeping it simple to me and my brother.. when we were young. I remember lots of hugs. Lots puzzles and coloring and projects that kept us busy in the evenings in our rooms or in the back room. Outside if the days were good. I love to be outside. Children are so instinctive about how to detach! Watch them and learn from them (too.)
Wow, I am sure I have said too much. Just want you to know I care. And that it is going to be ok. Your loved. We love You.
(((Your children ))) Your very much loved by your Children...that can be soooo much more a strength to You ....to your Heart.
Alanon can help do that too. Give you Love and Care and Support ., assist you as you re build your self esteem. Make it easier to understand your a loving and caring person that deserves to be loved and respected. Alanon helped me do that.
The loving people. The program. Working it each day. I did because I know now " I'm Worth It." So are YOU!
Wow, I am so sorry your weekend bombed out. What can I say other than that? You have been here for me from the day I logged on....I am here for you too. Unload your troubles, scream them out if you have to. I will listen.
Do what you need to do for yourself & for your kids. You are in my prayers. I hope your week smooths out some.
Will do Josey.... it's unnerving, times like these.... you think you're doing the right things (which you probably are), and then get shot down by the A..... guess it just goes to remind us to NOT expect validation from our A's....
Sigh.... I DO hate this disease..
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
sorry things turned out so yucky for you. Keep up the good work, you are doing fine, focusing on what you need for you and your boys. I agree that their dad is just mad cos he sees you are going on with your life, and getting better all the time.
Mine called, and said he wants to come home tomorrow. What can I say, it's his house too. He said he has had lots of time to think (he's been gone for 5 weeks tonight) and wants us to work things out.
So, guess he will be here tomorrow when I get home from work. Hope I have gained some program in his absence, and am doing the right thing.
sweetie sweetie sweetie, I relate and remember what this disease says is all bs and the poor guy is insane with Aism.
Tune him out as best as ya can. I am so sad you have your precious kids seeing this too. You keep doing what you are, working, saving and preparing a safe place for you and kiddos.
Take care of you. If it were me I would not even comment to his bs. He knows you don't have a card. Joint accounts would sure not be a thing I would do with an A.
YES you keep us updated and take care of you guys. love,debilyn
