The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When someone asked me that question many yrs ago i thought she was nuts, and said what kind of a question is that of course I am ready . then she said can i ask you some questions ??? I said sure go ahead ( still thinking she was nuts)
Do understand the disease of alcoholism / how it works even if sober??
Are u going to be able to stay out of his recovery and let him do it his way??
if he goes to 8 meetings a week are you going to complain that he isn't home enough?
Are u going to be able to not ask where he has been or where he is going ?
Are u going to be able to support him emotionally or become angry when things don't go the way u think they should. those were just a few of the questions she has asked me over the yrs.
I was told by a councelor and a recovery A that a A can't go home to an old idea and stay sober. I was the old idea. sheeeesh I had to change. to be of any support to him in sobriety.
I am so gratful I got here to f2f meetings before my husb found sobriety , when it did happen and I knew that it was not going to be easy I had gotten into the habit of calling m y sponsor and sharing my fears with her. and when i would call her and say YOu won't believe what he's doing now. she would laugh and say oh yes I would hehe.
She taught me leave his sobriety to him but carry on with my own recovery she said it is the best was to support our A 's I am so gratful I got to meetings and had a support network before he got sober.
I know I am not reponsible for keeping him sober but by changing me I can give him a reason to give it a try. the old nag = victim would have drove him crazy . So wether they fnd sobriety or not fixing me is a win win situation either way i win. I am on my way to becomming the kind of person I want to be thanks to al anon program.
Oh before I go I hadn't thought much about him finding sobriety I figured he was a lost cause and would die drunk. Proof that my thinking needed to be changed.
So what kind of shape are you going to be in when and if he finds sobriety????
Sounds like you had the right person in your life at the right time. I really needed to hear those questions today. I have felt myself sliding into the usual familiar habits and I have been having difficulty stopping myself. Thank you for the great reminders.
Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
This is one of he best post i have read. It is very true. The first year is sometimes just as hard as then they are drinking. best just to change are selfs and not worry about the A.
Thanks for that post it has been a very long time since i have been here, I have certainly lost my way and I want me a to get help more than ever. Takes the focus off me right.
I don't think I'm ready for sobriety or living with him anymore
I am trying so hard to hear God and the path he wants me to take and it only leaves me more confused than before. I don't know if i hear my HP or if I hear my own head and what I want.
Thanks anyway for that because I am scared I will never make the right choices and that I will stay stuck in this rut forever.
