I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuff, but I recently totally let go of it, and there he was calling once I stopped caring). He emailed me mid-day telling me he'd be hanging out at my house til a certain time bc his job got extended. I normally go to an al-anon meeting on Weds afternoons, but in the past, I would skip the meeting (or change any other plans I had) in order to spend time with him. Let's be clear, not because he asked me, because I wanted to -- I wanted him to be the sun and the moon and I would lose my self and abandon whatever I was doing to rush to be with him. I didn't even really think of it this time -- the thought popped into my mind that I could make it home before he left for work, but I was like "absolutely not; what I want to do is go to my meeting." So I went to my meeting (had a great meeting on Step 11) and came home and ate dinner. I didn't expect to see him at all, but he had a break in the job and came up to my house. We had a really good talk and a cup of coffee. He was exactly the same. I had changed in my expectations and my behaviors. I was present in the moment, I was actually engaged in our conversation, not having a whole second imaginary conversation in my head. It was peaceful, and I had serenity, and it was really, really nice. It works when I work it. So grateful for al-anon tools and principles.