The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am powerless over most things. I am powerless to change other people - including to change their thinking. I am powerless over whether today is sunny or it rains. I am powerless over my husband. I am powerless over the moods of others. I am powerless over someone else's anger or withdrawal. I can choose my response to these things, so I have choices. But for me, there has been tremendous freedom in powerlessness! Thanks for asking, Barbara. Good day to you. mebjk
Being powerless over the weather and other natural phenomena is something we are born into and accept without question. But I have never moved on from Step 1 because I refuse to believe I have no way of gaining power over the alcoholism. I know it in my heart, but will not allow myself to give in to it. I have always been a person who wields the power, not the one who cowers at the power of another. I suppose that's why I still view my husband's drinking as a choice and a character flaw rather than a disease.
But I AM trying kiddies. I am trying to understand what AlAnon is attempting to get into my thick head. It's a struggle for me, and I am all but sure I will never find serenity in loving an alcoholic.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
That is the one I had such a hard time with my entire life! Now that I know I do not have to be responsible it is such a relief! Trying to control things that I can't made my life unmanageable. Controlling everything else to make up for lack of control in others was a waste of energy. I am still learning but..I am keeping my focus on me and my behavior.
I am powerless over alcohol...I've stayed sober 21 years...one day at a time, by the grace of God ,who has all the Power.
I am powerless over my alcoholic husband who is in state treament, he has a disease...that he is still allowing to have the power.
I am so grateful to this program that pointed out the fact that I am not God. I can't, He can and I will let Him...Not some of the time, but all of the time. I just had to make up my stubborn mind to let go and to believe.
Sheese!!! Might be easier to list what I have power over!!!
The way I respond to other peoples moods, attitudes, behaviors.
The way I choose to take care of myself.
The way my own thoughts control my attitude and moods (still not perfect there by any stretch of the imagination!!!)
Hmmm...whether or not my friend Norbert the Cat gets an extra large helping of kitty chow today or just the ususal! (Depends on how pathetic his meowing sounds....hmmmm maybe I dont have power over that afterall!!!!! ) Sheese, just like an Al-Anon to give up power to a cat even!!!!!
I'm with Diva on this one. No matter what I know, read or do, I still cannot accept powerlessness over alcoholism. I too still view it as a choice my husband makes. My main reason for this thinking always is that no matter how bad things get, he and his Mother or his Sister always come out on top. The kids and I are at the back of the boat.
If he had no choice I always look at it that he would suffer the most. Then I could have some compassion for him. The simple fact is that he suffers the least. Him and his Mother manipulate each and every situation so that he comes out of it unbruised and the kids and I suffer the consequenses. To me they make an informed choice. He can avoid drinking when it is in Mommy's best interest, or when it benefits him, yet he makes a choice to mess up anything for the kids and I. He makes sure there is always enough money for his wants and needs and the hell with the kids and I.
I agree I cannot change it, he will do what he wants when he wants and I can't stop that. I cannot control another person. But it is not that I am powerless over the disease of alcoholism, I am powerless over the whims of a very selfish, spoiled, immature, insensitive man.
