It's been a few days since I've posted so I thought I better before I get to too far behind on what's going on.
Life has changed for sure, but I'm still able to see light at the end of the tunnel most days. I'm trying to rest when I can because I know stress on top of tired equals more stress. I tend to think that I can handle about anything and even when I'm throwing up because of stress I'm thinking "damn, what was that about"? I don't feel sick, no fever.

People have repeatedly told me "take care of you" and I really do try. I sometimes have to do 15 min. here and 20 min there, but I try. It's kind of like caring for yourself when you have a newborn, you rest when you can. When the baby gets up 2-3x a night, so do you. So, even though my daughters have come over so I can get a haircut or go to the store, I'm getting up at night and not getting a full night's sleep. I see my A heading for the stairs to go to the family room and I'm on my feet to make sure he doesn't fall. He took the dog out the other day and fell in the yard because the lead got wrapped around his legs. We have big decorative rocks for landscaping and he was very close to them, so he won't be doing that again.
I'll warn ya now, if you see me in chat, don't ask what i'm doing to take care of me cuz I'll probably hurt ya..lol

We went to see his Dr. on Friday and A will be starting Physical Therapy to try to regain some balance and strength. After his appt. when we were in the car I looked at the referral for PT and it said "cerebral degeneration" as th diagnosis. That rocked my world for a minute. The brain is an amazing thing and can rewire itself. It is slow but I believe it'll happen.
On a lighter note, for the last 2 days my A does seem to be more alert. He has been able to carry on a conversation that makes sence :)
He is still forgetful and uses incorrect words sometimes, but I can see him ever so slowly improving. How far he will get is still a mystery. I hope for the best but am prepared for what may be..
He is also walking a bit better and can go down the hall w/o walking in to the wall.
Today he said he knows he's still here to do some unfinished work, he doesn't know what it is yet but he cheated death 2x in the last month and he knows it. That type of thinking let's me know he's coming around.

And now, just as he seems to be getting better, my sister in law called this evening and said his Mother is expected to pass away at anytime. Hospice has been called in and they have stopped all her medications and are only giving her meds to make her passing easier without pain.
My A spoke to her last Sunday and was able to tell her he was 30 days sober. She doesn't know about all he has been through in the last month because she worried about him so much anyway.
My sis in law said that after thier conversation that his Mom said it was the greatest gift she could have, to hear him say that he is sober.
I'm so very grateful that conversation took place.
I mentioned in a previous post that I could see HP's hand in so many things that have taken place, this was another.
Along with the fact that he spent 9 days with her just before Christmas (in Michigan) while she was in the hospital, before being moved to a nursing home. That was HP's gift to my A. I think he was able to say Good Bye to his Mom in his own way at that time. He seemed OK today when we got the call.
I was the one that had to go in the bedroom and bawl. What a wonderful woman she is/was, I will miss her terribly. She made it clear to me many times how much she appreciated me standing by her son through thick and thin.
If there's anyone that deserves the glory of HP, it is her. She lost her husband 30 yrs ago , never dated again, he was the love of her life. She spent her time voluntering at the hospital, the homeless shelter and was a pro at archery. She once shot bow and arrow with Ted Nugent..lol Gotta love her!!
Like my husband, she accepted my children from another marriage and loved them as if they were her own Grandchildren.
Our son is going to take this very hard, he sure loved being with her. When he was younger she would fly him to MI to spend a few weeks with her in the summer. She lives on Lake MI and she made each day an adventure on the beach for him. She would get up at 5a.m. to make him one of her famous cherry pies and let him have it for breakfast :)
I have tried to prepare him and tell him that Grandma is ready to "go home", but few things can be said that will ease the pain.

nuff for now..
love
Christy