The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He is still not suppose to have contact with any family member until his court date May 5th. He hasnt made friends so is basically out in the world literally on his own. I called the court last Fri asking for help. Only after did I realize the court is only there to enforce the law, protect - not to help anyone get help if they arent willing. Court did suggest an outpatient program but because it costs money brother refuses. He's only going to AA to get his card signed. He told me he's not listening, just drinking coffee and doing his time. The court did say he got himself an apartment. If he wants to get his things from my mothers condo he can notify the police and get an escort. My mother is a mess. "They are being cruel. How can my brother wait another 7weeks?"
I am so sorry for the pain your family is going through. I hope that you can find some peace soon. I do not have any beautiful words of wisdom or comfort, but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and wish you answers to your questions!
I went through a similar situatio with my brother a few years ago, got me to start alanon in fact. I know that it is so hard to watch someone you care about throwing their life away in spite of all you know they are capable of. You are being a great sisiter by being there for him even tho "he hasnt made friends" and after all that has happened. A's need people to talk to too; to confide in; to listen. Just be careful, it is so easy to get sucked into the drama, drama that is not yours. A quote from my uncle, a long time member of NA...."Sometimes you just have to sit back and let them bump their head" He is all grown up now, his decisions are his, and the consequences of those decisions. Take care of yourself.
Well maybe some people at Aa will befriend him. They tend to notice newcomers and reach out to them. I think the fact he is going to the meeting and has to sit through it means something.
I know we are always in a hurry to speed them through recovery but they tend to do it on their own terms. I have known people who I thought would never get recovery who did. As long as they are alive there is hope but I think that it is very hard to watch them if you don't detach.
