The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm feeling the gammet of feelings, stressed out from Katrina, FEMA hasn't sent funds or contents money for all the losses, agencies not getting me relocated to affordabe hsing. Went to walmart w/A-dau Sun. She got wine. Started on it when she got home.She came back to my apt and couln't get her to leave til mon am. Neighbor, her supposed friend, came early evening and dropped the 2 kids on me. Come to find out later from someone else, who drove A-dau off the property to near by town (out of walking distance) A-dau had champagne, which is the friends choice of A. The person that took her for ride felt obliged to call and inform me of the happenings and that after she slept, he'd bring her home that evening. Needless to say it hasn't happened yet.
Its extremely stessful not having been around these kids (1.5 & 6) until Katrina blew me out of La and to have the A-mom here since xmas who didn't acknowledge I was alive all my life,swapped roles w/me b4 12 yrs old,took care of til I couldn't stand insanity etc. anymore, and had no contact with at all the last 10-12 yrs sitting here trying to run things and do nothing but want to be waited on herself.
I'm on disability now. That doesn't get acknowledged either. I guess it doesn't fit their needs. A new agencies councelors came yesterday to assess my needs and they are still here after I informed my A-dau to come home and get her kids,ones throwing up all over w/stomack virus, and that I have people coming,my busness calls and a dr appt wed. Still not here today. Cancelled my dr appt and am nauseated.
Last night I threatened to find the #'s to call their A-dad's with extreme fear of revenge to be. I am scared to death she will beat on me again for trying to do something about the situation like she did yrs ago. I yelled at her this is ENTRAPMENT and I would do what I have to do if she doesn't come get the kids among other things. I called every time he threw up last night and left explicit messages. She called and said I was an evil bit*h, f u ,.I called the S W to ck out the law for protection here if I decide to act. I just want to be relocated and get out of here. this is not my problem. The torture I feel is horrible to see my grankids in this type way. She's threatened me to stay out the middle and puts me in it. Can't leave, no transportation, I live 1 bldg from hers, no protection 24/7,FEMA hasn't paid what I"m due,WHAT ARE THE CHOICES ? What else do I have to choose from ? I'm invaded on and can't get out,yet......Am I in the right place for support or am I to new ? Do I have to big a problem for anyone to support me here ? If I need to go somewhere else tell me, I thought this was the place. I do have some communication problems that need to be fixed, have I offended anyone? I feel I don't know how to ask. I've always been stuck to take care of it alone.
I'm praying HP will give me guidence, but I fear confusion. I'm asked if I hear voices by these councelors. I'm not sure how to get guidence under these circumstances. I've asked numerous people if HP answers like a voice thought or some other way? I've tryed so hard to quiet the messages we give ourself when we've been abused.
Thanks for letting me be here. BLESSINGS
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
You have got to get the focus of them and on to you and your recovery. I understand not being recognized as disabled, it hurts. They don't understand having part of your life ripped away from you prematurely. Hang in there and focus on you.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Well D5 I would say u already have a big problem.support here consists of sharring our al anon program , which basically tells us to focus on our own needs. Threats tears ultimatums never work with an A. As u said there are children involved and they need to be protected. If you find them too much for you there other avenues to follow. You have to do what is best for you and those kids.
We cannot change other people (unfortuantley alcohol is running your daughters life at the moment and the disease tells her the only thing that matters are her needs.) Am sorry you have suffered abuse at the hands of your daughter that must have been terribel for you , that is why we have police you have a choice make her responsible for her actions or let it continue. I truly wish u well and trust that u will do what is right.
Al-Anon will help u to find the courage to do what u ahve to do , I hope that u will find some meetings for yorself u need support from people who understand where your at and can share their own experiences with you . call 1-888-4alanon for meeting info in your area. You don't have to do this alone anymore. good luck Louise
abbyal I have a hard time with reading between lines and don't want to interpret what u r saying ihave question are u saying go to meeting instead of this board ? I am new in this area ,no trans and no buses. Is tis board only for people that know each other or go to meetings together? my comprehension is worse during stress talking to new people and know not to assume, but rather appear the fool than misunderstand. It may just be bad self esteem and shame, embarrassment of the situation.
pleasse bear with my shortcomings that are coming and going for now. my emotions play havock on the inteligence.
thanks BLESSINGS
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
I have definitely been at wits end sometimes with the A and felt incredibly isolated. I found that going to a meeting a day (online) helped a lot. The esh of other members really helped me. I saw people walking through this and learned to relate from them.
I certainly do not like the choices I have at the moment. I no longer rail against them. I try to work every day in specific ways to change them. I do not expect that change to happen overnight but I know in time if I keep working on specific baby steps my choices will get better. I found a sponsor at the urging of people here. I found people to be my recovery partners. I found a focus and stayed out of panic. I can't say it is easy but I do try to stay out of panic as best I can. I do not make good decisions or take actions that are in my best interest in panic. I lived slept breathed in panic before so finding ways to stay out of it has been a moment by moment thing.
This board is for anyone whose life has been affected by another's alcoholism. That's the only thing you need in order to 'qualify' to be here. Face to face meetings are also very good, can do things for you that we can't do here - for one thing, real hugs beat virtual hugs any day. I urge you to reach out to your local meeting as well as here, who knows there may be someone who drives right by your place on her way to the meeting, who could give you a ride.
We say that depending on an alcoholic for anything is like going to the hardware store to buy bread - they just don't have what we need. Better to avoid disappoinment, by not expecting anything from them, and finding another plan.
In this program we learn to stop paying so much attention to what the Alcoholic does or does not do, and instead focus on ourselves. Make sure we take care of ourselves, and make sure we keep our own side of the street clean - I am responsible for my own behaviour, not for that of anybody else.
