The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well it is interesting around here after telling my husband I wanted a seperation. HIs first reaction was no, all it is going to do his cost money, we'll get the same lawyer and get it over.
Yesterday at lunch he comes home asking why I don't think this will work. Spewed a bunch of crap and walked away. I let him cool off and went into the kitchen and said do you think this will really work? He says yes. If I get my butt off the couch and do something. He drinks because he has to do everything around the house and he is entitiled to because he works full time +. Excuse me for having a stroke !! And being on disability and only being physically able to work 7 days a month.
He accused me of having my hysterectomy to destroy my sex drive! I said excuse me I don't think I can will myselfto have endometreosis. He said you sure wanted the hyterectomy. Duh, I have a history of cervical cancer too!
It was a typical conversation, everything said gets turned around to be my fault, I'll take it!!
He said he will have figure out if he can afford to keep the house, he will have to figure out how to give me my down payment back, I bought it before we were marrired. I can tell you what will decide if he can afford it is the Harley payment.
He managed to put the kids in the middle by twisting what they said to make me sound bad. So pray for a quick 16 days please.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
2 weeks/2days and counting. ODAT my dear friend. You're rubber , he's glue :)
FOCUS ON YOUR FUTURE NOT YOUR PAST
Your future is a big adventure. Prepare for your future, don't live in the past. Savor your good memories, use any bad ones as lessons in life.
Carve out a niche for yourself in your imagined future. Think, feel and see yourself as successful. To achieve any goal in life, you need to project your end result. Think of the elation, the satisfaction, the joy you'll feel. Carry these ecstatic feelings with you every day and they'll bring your desired goals into view.
Sooner or later, you can win if you think you can. The cards you are dealt in life are less important than the way you play them. Every day you're offered a new deal and new cards.
Success is in your future if you're willing to work for it.
Love you.. Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My boyfriend has no interest or desire to know about my physical health issues. I think he sees them as something I caused to myself. Nevertheless he is constantly asking me to take care of him and sympathise with his issues. I think they often split like that good/bad. I know it is extremely hurtful.
I am sorry to hear that you are being blamed and trashed for having health issues. I know that the A considers everything in the house is "his" too. As far as he is concerned I do not exist as a separate person. I do know that I have become used to this kind of thinking from him now and I no longer take it personally. At the same time I find it galling, exhausting and difficult to manage. My only real management is to detach. I would rather not detach but I do out of a sense of self preservation (which I did not have too much of it until I came here).
I hope you will continue to look for support, clarity and purpose. You deserve a life where you are valued.
