The material presented
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level.
Hi, I'm new here and looking forward to the support. My husband will not have drank for 5 years this October. He doesn't drink but he seems to be slipping into the same personality characteristics he had when he was drinking. If I have a complaint, he throws something back at me that I have done. He has done very well at his job since he quit drinking, has moved up in the ranks, taken schooling etc. but he doesn't seem to want to do anything to work for our marriage. He will admit that he is not doing the things he should where our marriage is concerned but when I ask him why, he says he's just lazy or he doesn't know. I have caught him in lyes and that is something I cannot stand. There were too many hurtful lyes in our marriage when he was drinking. He acts like he doesn't care how I am feeling or what I am feeling. He won't say he's sorry even for the big things. Nothing is ever his fault. I need to know if what I'm thinking is true. Could he be in dry drunk syndrom? I left him once and wouldn't go back for a year after he got sober. I thought things were going to be ok. He hasn't been to a meeting since I went back and he refuses to go to counsling with me. Can anyone relate or give me some insight as to whether this could be dry drunk syndrom? Thank you. Diane
My husband has been sober for over 20 years and has become impossible to live with. In fact he moved out; literally walked out the door. The best help and insight I have found is at the Minnesota Recovery Page (google it). It explains so much of my husband's behavior. I think of "arrested development". He never developed certain skills because of growing up in an alcoholic home and being an alcoholic. He went through AA, study the steps, and made amends. Now, he will not go to a meeting. He left the minutes our youngest son graduated from high school.
You have to set good boundaries. See my previous post about hitting the bottom with my A. I am slowly coming to realize that some of what he does is abusive and insanity. I don't want a divorce but I need to have a life. We went to couples counseling and individual counseling. He refuses to changes, says he is giving in to his addiction. I go to Alanon meetings and read the literature. My husband has been a good provider and a good dad but he is limited and very rigid. It is not about us but it is the disease talking even in sobriety. As they say in Alanon, focus on yourself.
