The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve.
An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough for the A that he was really drunk. He insisted upon continuing to drink. His friends were worried about him and in order to get him home compromised by allowing him to take a bottle of alcohol with him if he allowed them to drive him home. The A agreed to this. While on the interstate highway, the A became beligerant. His actions put everyone in the car in danger. He attempted several times to wrest control of the car from the driver. He could not be restrained.
In desperation, the friends pulled over to the side of the road, they forced him out of the car. They told him that he would have to find his own way home. They hoped this would penetrate his alcoholic fog so that he would behave.
Instead, he staggered into the path of a car. I am sure that somewhere there is a family who grieves him. I am sure the friends will suffer over this. I am sure the driver of the car will be haunted by this. The A, however, is now at peace in the care of his HP. It doesn't quite seem fair to me.
I had an uncle who died under the influence in a really stupid accident that was entirely preventable. I think it has taken me years to see its root alcohol.
I can imagine that the desolation and despair regarding such an accident would be tremendous. What a difficult thing to put so many people in jeopardy and make everyone your warden?
I have known many many alcoholics like that. I am glad that I have whittled my life down so I am no longer their caretaker.
I am sorry for your loss and for the sad, desperate way he went out.
Its such a heart wrenching thing to go thru. I had a family ful of the falling down kind along with their falling buddies that grew up with them. For 40 something yrs I felt as if i was living in a horror movieeeeeee. I wanted to change all there channels and exhauted myself and life trying.
So many times my A-mom staggered home from the bar,falling whereever, many x"s I found her out in the morning dew covered grass with a yard full of red ants.I feared the hyway thing often as she had to cross every x she came and went. I had unendin agony,grief and nightmares to say the least. Learning to turn them over to HP is a hard thing to do. They slept where they fell and theres nothing we can do to stop them. The A-bro I buried just after he turned 40 was a cab driver. I would NOT get in a car with someone thats had a drink if I had to walk miles home. I was left with PTSD real bad from all the A's among other things. To this day none of them will acknowledge the damages inflicted.
You post brought up alot for me I've been away from a # of yrs and thank HP and our program for.
-- Edited by d53sjurne at 12:46, 2006-03-11
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
