The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end. Because of abandonment issues from my childhood, this is a very scary decision for me but one that I need to make for myself. I have put up with unacceptable behavior for far too long now. Because of the abandonment issues, for me it was easier to put up with the behavoir rather than to have to deal with the pain and fear of being alone. I have been going to counseling for a few months and to f2f meetings now for over a year. I am hoping that through my counseling and support from Alanon that I will be able to let myself feel the pain, embrace it even, and move forward.
Please pray that I will be able to do whatever it takes for my recovery.
Keep coming back, sooner than 4 months please! We all work together on our different issues and if you come regularly, you can follow the growth of others and learn from their mistakes and from their accomplishments, so you can make a well rounded, thought out decision about what is best for you.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Because of abandonment issues from my childhood, this is a very scary decision for me but one that I need to make for myself. I have put up with unacceptable behavior for far too long now. Because of the abandonment issues, for me it was easier to put up with the behavoir rather than to have to deal with the pain and fear of being alone. I have been going to counseling for a few months and to f2f meetings now for over a year. I am hoping that through my counseling and support from Alanon that I will be able to let myself feel the pain, embrace it even, and move forward.
>>>>>>>>>.julielynn, i can SOOO relate to U andthe abandonement issues.....i am very proud of your courage to TAKE CARE OF U.......
sometimes its best. to accept----cut our losses----and take care of us.........i had to give up my grandniece becuz of her abusiveness to me.....it was hard, but i feel better....i just had to tell her she wasn't welcome in my life if she was going to be abusive to me.......
than i got "adopted" into this family whom i really wanted a life long loving relationship with and their actions REPEATEDLY did not match thier words......in other words, they were full of crap!!! broken promises, just BS....so i told them "good bye and god bless-- but this is NOT healthy for me staying around U, so i am moving on and taking care of me"
it hurt, but oh i feel so much , my inner child feels so much safer being in my own skin now........my inner child knows where the "rubber meets the road" now and she does not act out anywhere NEAR like she used to.....
my heart and prayers go out to U.....take care and U got us ok?????? rosie
I can relate also! I was always so afraid of being alone that I put up with crap from nasty men and I do not deserve that. I have been in al-anon for 1.8 yrs now and I now LOVE being alone! I can do what I want when I want. I have plenty of time for me! I am finally taking steps to start dating again and you know what? The jerks are not coming around any more! I am different and I am finally meeting nice men with integrity!
When you change...everything gets better! Yes I spent a few dark days crying in bed. But when I reached out for help from my al-anon sisters they pulled me right back on my feet!
((((( JulieLynn)))))) I know your pain and have been there for prolonged periods of my life, even well into recovery. The only thing to do, as you say, is allow yourself to feel that pain, and as much as you can listen to what it is telling you. Which you seem to be doing--because it IS very much connected to those abandonment issues from childhood. That's how it was for me, anyway. I just couldn't believe I would ever find anyone else to love me and take care of me, even as I recognised that the person I was so attached to emotionally just couldn't be there for me in so many important ways! It's crazy when you look at it from the outside--but not when you are feeling it from inside.
Take good care of yourself, and just know that YOU can be there for you! And in time, that is the person you most need in your life--yourself!
On a lighter note, my therapist helped me over the hump of constantly thinking I'd never find anyone to love by telling me, about available men, "there's one per square foot"! I simply couldn't help myself--I had to laugh about that!
Reach out to those you know CAN be there for you, and keep it coming with the recovery!
You can get off the roller coaster ride even if they want to keep riding.
You already have care and support in place. I know it will be
you'll have and you will have the program.
Hp has guidance. Together we'll make it. Keep coming back.
BLESSINGS
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
Hang in there! We truly are not alone because we have our HP's. I am facing my own abandonment issues. My husband moved out last June. What I am realizing is that I was abandoned even when he was here. I have to keep working my program over and over again to grow up and be responsible for myself and loving myself. Reach out for help. I am finding that there is help everywhere if you just ask.
I know it will be 
and you will have the program. 
