The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets out. Right now, I am in survival mode taking care of baby and all responsibilities, although he's pretty much been checked out from the responsibilities for awhile now. I am scared, hurt, angry, you name it. I would love to gave support.
Welcome seeking I am glad that your partner is attempting to recover in an impatient setting I urge you to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. Breaking the isolation caused by living in the insanity of alcoholism is crucial to our well being. Learning to let go of destructive ideas and tools is also important
Developing tools that teach us to respond and not react helped me to rebuild my self esteem and live with courage, serenity and wisdom
You are not alone and there is hope
Welcome Seeking22 - glad you found us and glad you decided to share. So very sorry for what you are going through! I agree with Betty - it's a perfect time to work on you and renew yourself for all that the disease has brought to you.
I too met and married my husband in recovery. He too decided to walk away from recovery. He never returned and we have 2 children who also have addiction issues. The three of them brought me to Al-Anon and it's saved my life and restored my sanity and serenity.
Keep coming back - you are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
It is a plus don't you think that you know very well what he is going thru mind, body, spirit and emotions. The power of the chemicals to alter our lives so completely. When my alcoholic/addict wife continued to use and drink I was able to use compassion because I knew and knew that I knew what was going on inside and outside of her including the lying, cheating, stealing and other stuff. I hated being that sick. Good to have you here...stick around and learn what we have learned and practice now. Welcome. (((((hugs)))))
Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets out. Right now, I am in survival mode taking care of baby and all responsibilities, although he's pretty much been checked out from the responsibilities for awhile now. I am scared, hurt, angry, you name it. I would love to gave support.
Hi Seeking,
Welcome to MIP! Boy can I relate to what you are saying! It was just over a year ago that my AW checked into an inpatient recovery program, leaving me to take on all the responsibilities of everything at home and our 9 year old daughter. At first I was extremely angry, resentful, and scared. My Pastor, himself a recovering A, strongly encouraged my to get to AlAnon, and take the opportunity to focus on me and our daughter while my wife was focusing on herself. I was blessed to be able to take some time away from work under an FMLA, and I threw myself neck deep into my recovery and getting things at home, that had for too long been neglected as a result of the family disease going untreated, back in order. In our case, we had both checked out of our responsibilities at home.
I soon discovered that the event that had brought us both to our bottoms in our disease, was an enormous blessing. From it came my AW's recovery, my own recovery, a renewal and strengthening of my relationship with my daughter, and a foundation for us to rebuild our family, which we are all working on One Day at a Time. As I began to see that our respective higher powers were at work the day everything finally came crashing down, my anger and resentment was replaced with gratitude. Fear gave way to hope. Pain faded with healing.
I will be praying for you and your family! Hope you keep coming back!
I know part of AlAnon is acceptance of how things are, rather than trying to reason out why.
But I am one who always wants to figure things out...to see conections so I can understand what is happening.
When I was reading through this thread it struck me that a big part of alcoholism is avoidance of taking responsibility-and not just in life in general. It seems like As have also realized that "hey, when I am drunk, no one will "expect" me to be responsible for anything." What a great w a y to remain a child forever :(
