The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for November 28 speaks about working step four. It points out that as we list our character traits we become amazed to find that we often have mistaken destructive behavior for positive ones . For example,I know that I thought that taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity turned out how I soul behave to be a "Good Person". Not so points out alanon this is behavior that is destructive to your self esteem, and therefore the cause of my misery.
I had always ignored my positive qualities such as buried talents, optimism, self-discipline, determination, generosity which turned out to be in my assets . These were the qualities I could acknowledge and rebuild my life on .
It was as through the power of this frightening 4th Step that I found a way to turn to my upside down personality right side up.
When we work step four.it is a process and requires self-discovery and not self-improvement. When we see ourselves clearly we have a sense of wholeness and the feeling of pride and peace.
Today's reminder, our lives are in constant state of change. Awareness allows me to keep pace with the change. Today I will observe my words and my actions because only by knowing the person I am can I be the person I want to become.Step 10 helps in Otis process.
The quote is from Antoine de saint- Exupery; "each man must look to himself to teach him the meaning of life. It's not something discovered: it is something molded."
Thank you alanon for giving me the courage to remold my beliefs, my thoughts and my principles so I can live a life of acceptance of life on life's terms with courage, serenity and wisdom
By doing a searching and fearless moral inventory in writing, I was able to 'see' in black and white the patterns of behavior I used, good or bad or indifferent. In many instances, I was consistent and then my misguided passion and caring for others just turned off - it was obvious at what point I went 'numb'.....Numb for me is not good as it's a defense mechanism I use to not feel and when I do this, I am postponing things I need to do, see, look at and often change.
The steps are a blueprint for change. For me, the first 3 brought me around and gave me a bit of peace and relief. The true serenity and peace came when I continued on with Step 4 through 10. Step 4 is the first action step and it was hard, but gave me insight into many things I could change to improve my own quality of life/happiness.
Thank you Betty for the daily and your ESH!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
