The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the challenges we faced.
A sponsor or AlAnon friend is helpful when we are struggling with particular details or events, but we have an opportunity to contribute to the group positively by sharing how we were able to use AlAnon principles and tools to overcome challenges. Today's Reminder suggests that this approach is consistent with the intended purpose of AlAnon, 'to share [our] experience, strength and hope in order to solve [our] common problems'.
This page is very helpful when I find myself focusing on the negative behavior of others, reminding me that the focus should be on the only thing that I can control: myself. When I practice this I can feel the difference in my thoughts and perspective as I remember the things I can control, and that I have a choice in whether I see positives or negatives in my day. I am grateful for wisdom that proves to be so much greater than my own
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for the daily - what a gift ESH has been to me! When I got here, I was all up in everyone's business. If they would.....then..... If only ..... then.....It seemed foreign to me that by looking at me, my part, my choices, my actions and my reactions I could change my attitude and outlook. But, it works and the gifts are amazing.
I also did not understand 'common problem' when I arrived. I truly thought I had it worse, as my primary qualifiers were my sons. I had 2 sons, and both were inflicted with this disease. How could that be? Nobody understands because their qualifier is their husband, wife, father, mother, brother, etc. What I came to see and realize is that no matter who the qualifier is/was, the disease produces the same feelings and issues and isolation and despair in us all. Our common problem is not outside ourselves, but rather within.
Thank you for your service and for the great ODAT daily! Glad we are on this journey together!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Paul Thanks for posting this very important reading from the ODAT. I love going to an alanon meeting where we are all focused on a Step. Tradition or a slogan because i gain so much hope, and wisdom from listening to the ESH of others. It is true that by listening and sharing we are engaged in solving our common problems How wonderful.
Rehashing problems do not help solve them. That is a powerful principle. I do appreciate how the reading points out that" Venting" can and should be on a sponsor to sponsee basis. I understand this to be true as a sponsor has the time to listen, and then suggest a constructive tool that the member might consider and so they both grow.
Thanks for your service Paul
