The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters. Plato
I practice yoga and meditation, its my lifeline and even though I often don't feel like going to do it there has not been one time when I made myself go that I did not feel better afterwards.
Yes, that's an excellent idea, I've just decided to wake up a bit earlier and do yoga and/or meditation each morning.
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You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters. Plato
I definitely find it hard to concentrate and work during extreme times of stress which there have been many in my life. one on one therapy, exercise, a good book, hanging out with friends and just getting outside in the sun does wonders. Also having a dog helps! I have no choice but to get up and walk him every day. And he gives me unconditional love. Also this forum has been a life saver for me.
I stay tuned into the literature esp. the daily readers as it helps to keep me in the present...
I also exercise, and practice prayer/meditation. I'm not very good at the meditation part, but I do try.
I also enjoy a great coffee break with trusted program friends and my sponsor can also calm me - she's got that way about her!
HTH!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yes yes and yes! I am honestly starting to be concerned about my own health due to the stress from my life...and I need to get better at dealing with it all. I swear I have aged 10 years in 10 months...I had a friend comment on picture of me that someone else posted...she pretty much, in a very loving way, said I looked awful LOL. She knows my struggles though and understands the stress.
I have heard mindful meditation can be helpful - I have downloaded an app, just haven't found time to to try it! This is a great thread - looking forward to more suggestions!
iyes. Ive had a lifetime of throwing the baby out with the bath water. Procrastination is the enemy, and a thinking of I'll fix it later. I'm 33 now and only just relearned to keep taking the next step. this in turn keeps the stress levels down, whether its housework or appointments and commitments. Actually its probably housework which has helped the most because I used to be an awful housekeeper. Routine doesn't come easy to me, but now its my good friend. Its set so regardless of what pops up, I know what I'm doing and the problems just fit in along with instead of taking up all the space,if that makes sense.
Im not sure what the definition of chronic stress is. Ive been affected by alcoholism so everything that stressed me is linked with the disease. All my symptoms of this disease are helped through alanon.
Yes this spring when my AH hit his rock bottom and I was in a state of chaosI found it really hard to focus on work. I pretty much cried in my office every day and was so stressed out. My saving grace was getting myself to the gym, hired a trainer and that helps to relieve so much of my stress. Also went to face-to-face meetings and saw my therapist. It also helped that my AH came into recovery.
No
Using the alanon tools of meetings, sponsor, steps , slogans, I was able to function quite well even in the face of the impending death of my son from this dreadful disease. Program works IF YOU WORK IT
Yes this spring when my AH hit his rock bottom and I was in a state of chaosI found it really hard to focus on work. I pretty much cried in my office every day and was so stressed out. My saving grace was getting myself to the gym, hired a trainer and that helps to relieve so much of my stress. Also went to face-to-face meetings and saw my therapist. It also helped that my AH came into recovery.
Yes..the gym is my saving grace too..thank and this amazing program
I took up walking. Trained and walked in two Komen 60 miles in 3 days walks. I listened to music or audio books while I walked miles and miles and miles. I worked out a lot of stuff and cried a lot of tears on the hiking trails where I live. That and Al-Anon have been a life saver for me. Luckily, I don't have children at home anymore and I have the luxury of taking off for hours on the weekends to walk and hike.
Stress is so hard on our bodies and our spririts. Working the principles of Al-Anon for these few months has at least helped me to recognize my stress points and try to minimize how I react.
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Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
Bethany66 - that's super cool that you took your stress-reliever and converted it to service!!! Way to go!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
There are a number of things that I have engaged in throughout my life that help reduce stress, including some of things mentioned above. Despite those efforts, when I came to AlAnon I was emotionally and physically maxed out as I tackled life's challenges the only way I knew how at the time.
In AlAnon, I learned that the level of my stress and anxiety was determined, not by the circumstances in my life or the choices and behavior of others, but by the choices I make, how I choose to see the actions of others, and the extent to which I am willing to let go of the things I can't control. I found ODAT p. 228, 234 and C2C p. 150 incredibly helpful when struggling with this.
Many things can help distract or minimize the symptoms, but I have found nothing that addresses the root cause of anxiety and provides the tools to address it like AlAnon. I am so grateful for the wisdom and tools of the program.
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Interesting to read this today ... I am having a particularly stressful time right now. My wife was laid off last week, and I found out yesterday that my son is flunking a class that if he doesn't get fixed before end of semester, will not be able to graduate high school with his class. I had trouble going to sleep last night for the first time in a long time as I tossed and turned running all this through my head and trying to anticipate every possible scenario and how I could avoid all the 'bad' ones, and bring about the outcome I think is best for my wife and my son. I wasn't praying to my higher power as I usually do ... I was instead plotting how I can take the wheel and do his job for him.
When I woke up today, restless and anxious, I returned to the very first piece of literature I ever got at an AlAnon meeting ... the bookmark 'Just for Today' ... and I was reminded that I need to live just for today ... that I can not tackle all my problems at once. That for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything else to my own desires. For today I will be unafraid.
So I packed a gym bag ... headed to work ... looked on line and found a meeting I can attend during the day today, came to this site (my AlAnon EpiPin ) ... and shortly I am going to take an extended lunch, go work out and attend a face to face meeting. After that I will finish my work day, eat a healthy meal with my family, go to my normal Tuesday night meeting, and call my sponsor. God willing, I will make it through today by focusing on one thing at time, taking care of me first, and getting through the day with the help of my sponsor and AlAnon. In the end its all I can do ... just take it one day at a time.
Yes, I totally relate to you. I've spent the best part of one year being totally disabled by stress and emotions that I've been present at work in body only and have barely been functioning. Thats how I came to be in al-anon as I realised I just couldn't continue how I was.
For me what i find helps is the al-anon literature and also the 'This too will pass mantra'. Ive had to really begin working on detaching myself from the thing which causes the stress and that's not easy and i'm nowhere near where I would like to be, but further along than I was.
For me the other thing is removing myself from everyone and swimming and I also use a visualisation and see my panicked often negative thoughts floating off to sea. It works abit for me sometimes.
I have had so many physical and health issues since my divorce 2 years ago and also dealing with my A boyfriend. The second time I was hospitalized for having difficulty walking the neurologist said it was stress related. I am coming to believe that he was right. The symptoms haven't come back since I have been in Al Anon although I am still dealing with chronic headaches but those are getting better.
One thing that my counselor told me has helped me a lot. 'The thing that screws us up most in life is the vision in our head of how it is supposed to be'. I think about that a lot. In Al Anon I guess that would come under the category of 'Expectations'. It has helped a lot in my relationship with my AB not to have these unrealistic expectations anymore.
I really love what someone in our f2f meeting said the other night. She said for meditation or relaxation breath in and say 'God or Higher Power in' .... 'Your name, out' as you breath out. I really like that when I am trying to relax. It helps me to relax and focus more on my HP.
