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Well, we sent my bro away two weeks ago so he could get clean and get some help. He's decided to come back to town again and feels he doesn't need treatment. I'm so disappointed. I get really tired of getting my hopes up and then having them shattered over and over. It was a relief for the last two weeks not to have to worry about him. I really don't want to start worrying again. I'm trying so hard to detach and just live my own life. We've done nothing but try to help him to get better the last 7-8 months, now he claims we've never tried to help him. He said his crackhead friends treat him better than our family has ever treated him. His perception of things is so distorted...it can be very frustrating to say the least.
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Just concentrating on getting through one day at a time.
Right now my brother has been court ordered to attend AA. I have the feeling he may stop after he doesnt need to check back with them. They have to really want sobriety/a new life.
Don't forget the three C's, you didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it, and you can't Control it. I know how hard it is not to worry about the A's in our lives, but try learning to detatch with love. The drugs and alcohol distorts their thinking, and the things they say sure can hurt the ones who love them.Try to remember it's the disease talking.When my A was active and said such mean and hurtful things, I used to try to remember that it wasn't the 'real' him that said those things.
Take care of yourself, do something that makes you happy. When I first started to learn how to detatch and do things for myself, I became happier. When he saw that he didn't control my every thought and action, I think it scared him (sober??) who knows ???? but I do know it helped me feel better in spite of what he was doing!! I stopped letting him drag me down with him, and started enjoying life again.
I can never completely relax, I always wonder if he will pick up a bottle. That's the nature of 'The Beast' (disease). I don't think even A knows? But I thank HP for each good day we have, and pray that he gives A the strength to resist the urge, each time it comes. Hope this has helped you a little? With Love and Prayers to you and your loved ones, TLC
