The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I started writing a reply somewhere then thought id be better off expressing myself here. The children of alcoholism are so deeply deeply affected by the disease in ways that are insidious,baffling,cunning and hurtful. We the children of dysfunctional families grow up in survival mode, and are always in the jungle fighting a lion. From you, our alcoholic parent, we learn disappointment, let downs, and a sense of " I'm not good enough". We learn false promises and to hide our hopes way down deep so no one will see our hurts when hope as usual is unrealised. We learn to manipulate people to get our needs met and by God do we learn it well. Usually thanks to son expert teaching from the so called sober one. We learn to become co dependent, well able to endure hurt, pain and dysfunction thanks to a lifetime of training. Alcoholism, you suck. And it doesn't even begin to end there.Hurt people, hurt people, but they're just trying to kill the lion and survive. To every one in our community who is honestly working a programme, trying to break the awful cycle and legacy of the family disease I think you are brave and wonderful, and your children so fortunate. Keep on keeping on, and God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Beautiful, honest share A4!. It is quite evident that you clearly understand the powerful effects of this dreadful disease on the entire family.
I too salute each person who seeks out alanon recovery so as to face the damage the "liion " has caused , and are willing to walk through the hidden pain and shed the fear so as to develop new constructive tools to live.
Acceptance is the key We are all Miracles in Progress.
A4l that is one heck of a post...accurate and descriptive I relate and then some which is I didn't want to kill the lion just beat it's ass into submission so that it would follow me all around in that state so I would look good and even get it to do my bidding from time to time. Love your insight and imagination and courage and I love the response by Betty also. (((((hugs)))))
Acceptance is such an amazing tool Betty and Jerry, I laughed to read of the lion but also, it was handy and at the right time, because that too is how the disease can work. Not everyone outside recovery really gets that, so thank you, because I needed that validation right then. It helps I think to have our recovery family who understand, because for me anyway it loosens my defensiveness. Then I can get on with accepting and letting go. Many hugs to you both, you are each very special to me on my journey.
